the cinnamon peeler's wife

sab kuch

2008-03-27T17:34:00.002-04:00

Sab kahan, kuchh lala(h)-o-gul men numayan ho gai’n
khak men, kya suraten hongi kih pinhan ho gai’n

Yad thin ham ko bhi ranga rang bazm arai’yan
Lekin ab naqsh-o-nigar-e taq-e nisyan ho gai’n

Nind us ki hai, damagh us ka hai, raten us ki hain
Teri zulfen jis ke bazu par pareshan ho gai’n

Main chaman men kya gaya, goya dabistan khul gaya
Bulbulen sun kar mere nale ghazal kh(v)an ho gai’n

Ranj se khugar hu’a insane to mit jata hai ranj
Mushkilen mujh par parin itni kih aasan ho gain

Yun hi gar rota raha ghalib to ai ahl-e jahan
Dekhna in bastion ko tum kih viran ho gai’n

(my favorite lines of a certain ghalib ghazal)

oooh. aaaah.

2006-04-03T16:54:00.003-04:00

i have finally settled into dc. life goes on and work keeps me tired. i saw the cherry blossoms- and as trite as it sounds they were breath taking. more than visually, the smell was amazing. around 6 pm walking into the roosevelt memorial with the blossoms surrounding you from all sides- the smell is other-wordly.

i like the metro. don't like cabs. the cuisine here has been un-impressive. i love my apt- so come visit! besides that i am not sure whether i am actually going to continue my blog, and if so- what direction it should take? any suggestions...

p.s. i am addicted to the style network, alas i lack all style.

dc- here i come!

2006-01-26T10:44:00.000-05:00

the wait is up! i will be moving in a few weeks and thus posting will be resumed.

update- i just got back from chicago. will be in c-bus next week. then off to apt hunt in dc. then some wedding craziness for barbie.

any suggestions as to apts in dc?

i am excited. i am scared (a bit). i have to go shopping!

the life of a bored boring bore....

2005-10-19T17:59:00.000-04:00

aaah you would have imagined doing nothing to be sublime. perfectly sublime. like a perfect sunset on a beach with lazy waves lapping and frosted drinks in your subtly manicured hand. (imagine a loud screeching sound)

no.

nothing like that at all.

since the age of 13 i have always been busy. every year, every weekend, every summer- i have either been in school or working. when i did take a break it was either a stressfully short one with the family or a vacation somewhere filled with things to do. maybe i just don't know how to do nothing. maybe i am just not skilled enough for it.

i have stayed away from blogging because (a) i didn't want to bore you with my boring life (b) my internet connection at home is horrid. now due to the begging of some (mostly law students with nothing better to distract them than blogs- don't worry i am jealous!) i have come back to post.

now to be completely honest the beginnings of my extended break were quite fun-filled. i partied a lot, i traveled a couple of places, and saw lots of fun people. but abruptly it ended, everyone went back to their normally scheduled programs and i was left in a non-stop boring reality show that is my (non-existent) life. since i was stuck in a catch-22 (my job said we want you right away and thus you can't go to london- and right away in their minds is some distant/near future- as soon as they summon me- fortunately london let me defer), i decided to take time off, go home, and do nothing.

sounds good, right? wrong. there is only so much sleeping, reading novels, moping around, hanging out with my parents that i can take. i now officially have given up getting dressed. i live in work-out clothes/ pajamas. because mostly i workout and sleep. i do some work for my dad (which let me tell you can barely keep me awake- but it pays).

let me leave you with the highlights:
- i have re-watched every (and i mean every) Sex & the City episode (that's a whole lot of Monolos let me tell you)
- i purchased health-insurance (to make sure i could do nothing in complete wellbeing)
- i read many many novels (i started with all the intellectual ones like Kundera and Marquez- now i degenerated into the pulp that i can skim in a couple of hours- read all those random Shopholic books- they are an hour read, two tops)
- practiced reading Urdu with little kid books (had to read story entitled: Choti Gaajar ki Shaadi Beigan Se- translation the little carrot's wedding to the eggplant)
- attempted to brush up on my Arabic and German
- bought makeup at MAC (which is absolutely unnecessary since i don't leave my house)
- watched every stupid DVD in my library
- got a personal trainer to make me workout even more
- cooked dinner, lunch, and baked multiple batches of cookies
- become everyone's personal assistant (i now get calls from uncles and cousins with requests- since i am doing NOTHING)
-watch cheesy sitcoms all day, especially The Cosby Show (that's for you sehar)
- get told everyday that i need to get married
-organized all my junk
-the list goes on, but i will spare you the details. it isn't that i am not invited to go random places, it is just that i am so bored that i don't feel like going anywhere!

besides this pretty much nothing. if i have not returned your email or calls- please forgive me. my life has become this engulfing pit which refuses to let me come up for air. i think about calling/emailing you and then i realize that explaining my pathetic existence will take too long and my parents will probably call me in that time to program the vcr for them or something. so until more sporadic and crazy adventures ensue- i can not promise much posting. i apologize.

for those of us who could not be there...

2005-07-19T15:59:00.000-04:00

many of you know people who are on the rihla in madina. fareena alam of q-news has put together a blog so that we can share in their blessed journey. the pictures are amazing and the entries by various people are heart-warming. reading about the rawdah brings tears to me eyes, helps me re-align focus, and see the trivial for what it really is. (also i recommend her entry about hearing about the london bombings)

if you would like to learn more about the rihla program, visit deen-intensive.

just a squeak...

2005-07-10T00:30:00.000-04:00

i really shouldn't be posting- if i have a spare second i should be studying. but alas i am a slacker. just a few things in my head (well besides the bar)...

1. i got my digital camera and it is great. i have been taking lots of pics during wedding season. (the zoom range is amazing and it takes good video to boot)

2. speaking of weddings, in june and july alone i am invited to like 20 weddings. i actually have attended some event (usually more than one) every weekend. non-desi friends just don't understand this. i can't even enjoy the shaadis because i keep thinking about failing the bar.

3. thomas friedman strikes again. he wrote this horrible op-ed in the nyt that made my skin crawl. i have a lot of thoughts on the article, but don't have time to share, read prof. juan cole's analysis of it (scroll down a little- it's worth reading), he says it better than i could anyway. (by the way mr. friedman, if i tatoo a fatwa onto my forehead that i hate obl- will this make you happy?)

4. my sister is in turkey- everytime i hear from her she is eating mishmish, or kabobs- or going to a yogurt festival!- or hanging out on the bosphorus! ooh poor baby- you get no sympathy from me, just bring me back gifts!

5. my dad is leaving for moscow on business- the russians keep pushing back the trip, because their aerospace industry is horrid. but still i am sure going to moscow is more exciting than trusts or corporation law. after that my parents leave on vacation for indonesia, singapore, and malaysia.

6. the point of the last two statements was to inspire pity and sympathy in the hearts of my readers for me- who is stuck in columbus, ohio- while everyone else prances across the globe. prances literally.

7. in honor of the great people of london, i suggest you listen to cornershop- my favorite song is brimful of asha (it is actually on the radio at the moment). what a great song- what other song can combine lyrics such as "everybody needs a bosom for a pillow" and "Mohammed Rafi, Lata Mangeshka, solid state radio..." genius!

8. is it bad that i can't wait for the new harry potter book (half blood prince) to come out? i have promised that i will not come within 100 ft of the book till after the bar exam. (man am i loser)

9. again a plug for frontline. a while back they did a piece on the terrorist threat in europe, seems fitting now. you can watch it online in its entirety. but take it with a grain of salt- it is one of the more inflammatory pieces that i have seen them do. also, bothering to me is the repeated playing of the quran behind translations of horrible conversations between terrorists. surely in the minds of people who don't speak arabic- wouldn't the subtitles be the translation of what they are hearing- well not on frontline. also other random bothersome things- such as everytime they mention extremism, a picture of a covered woman pops up. as no woman who chooses to cover could possible not be extreme. but there is some important info- i think the alienation, poverty, and educational state which the french imam discusses are of particular import.

10. where was i during college, obviously not following the millions of internet phenomena such as "all your base are belong to us" or "pusher/shover robots- terrible secret of space". but there are tons of crazy videos and such things out there. my brother (who by far surpassed me in nerdom) introduced me to some of these. i realized there is a whole nutty world out there in crazy internet world, and i don't think i want to go there.

last note: please remember me on the 26th,27th,and 28th of this month. i will be sitting through the hell that is the ohio bar exam. send prayers, good luck, happy thoughts, positive karma, crib sheets- whatever you can muster- i will need it!

and now for the famous disappearing act...

2005-06-14T16:01:00.000-04:00

i apologize for being missing in action, but as the picture attests- i have been slightly busy- studying. okay pretending to study and also roaming a bit. but now i am in buckle down mode: class 4 hours a day and trying to study at least 6-8 hours more. let's just say barbri and i are getting pretty close. also, since i am giving you excuses- i haven't been taking my laptop to school so that i would be less enticed by the wireless web and thus no posts.

what have you been up to for a month? you ask curiously... or you should be. i will succumb to my list obsession and my law school training and fill you in... (outline style that is- you already knew i was a nerd)


I. Law School
  A. Finals
    1. Four Tests
       a. Copyright
       b. International IP
       c. Professional Responsibility
       d. Fourteenth Amendment
    2. Outcome
       a. i can't believe i took my last finals!
       b. hopefully i passed, but as of yet i have no clue
       c. somehow i managed to do pretty well in copyright
         (the only grade posted)and yet i never cracked
         the book- i swear i skipped class and never read.
         this is not good for my already slacker attitude on studying.
  B. Graduation
    1. Funny Hats, Weird Velvety Robes, and a doctoral hood
 (that was placed upon each one of us one at a time- boring, yeah).
    2. it was very hot but beautiful none the less downtown
 at the historic Ohio Theatre
    3. family and friends in attendance- nice;
 the t-money cheer when i walked down- awesome
    4. richard goldstone, a justice from south africa's constitutional court
 spoke- he was amazing. most people thought him boring (because he
 actually spoke about substance) and others all disagreed with him
 (because he dared to criticize american foreign policy). his points
 were quite poignant, sad that the audience was so lame.
    5. you can see some pics here (i checked to make sure i am not there,
 but there is a sweet family portrait of sunshineykittens).
    6. i can now say i have a juris doctor (only to have all the MDs and
 PhDs glare at me), to get that esquire behind my name, gotta pass
 the bar (how pretentious can it get?)
  C. Graduate Classes
    1. just last week i turned in my Arabic Paper for my classical quran
 class- writing it was painful, but i think my prof had a soft spot
 for me- cuz i got an A for some really crappy stuff
    2. i still have a grad paper left, but luckily i can turn it in after
 the bar- oh yay more studying
II. Wanderings
  A. Chicago
    1. Partners in Crime
       a. Road trippers: SunShineyKittens and Lululee
       b. Host: LaLa
       c. A Cast of Thousands
    2. Attractions
       a. Burr Ridge
       b. Belmont
       c. Devon
       d. Hyde Park
       e. Evanston
       f. Michigan Ave.
       g. Wicker Park
       h. Random Sheesha Bars, Bowling Alleys, The Lake, etc.
       i. Greektown (yeah right)
    3. Lessons learnt:
       a. alienation and narcissism- not such good things
       b. spiders are scary, especially when lululee is driving
       c. don't eat at clark's on belmont- but do go to karaoke on belmont
       d. lala's neck likes the wind
       e. getting lost in chicago can use up a lot of camera film
       f. well priced sushi = good,  seedy sheesha bar = bad
       g. don't buy socks, they will give them to you at the bowling alley
       h. uchicago students could use a good tan
       i. wishbone had great food and wacky decor- they call it southern
         reconstruction cooking- just eat the crab/salmon cakes.
       j. cramming so much into 4 days is exhausting
       k. so on and so forth
  B. Washington, DC & Northern VA
    1. Partners in Crime
       a. Flight Buddy: Lululee
       b. Rendezvous Girl: Lala
       c. Hosts: Natasha and NaghMo
    2. Attractions
       a. Georgetown
       b. DuPont Circle
       c. Herndon
       d. Alexandria
       e. Leesburg
       f. Many miles of highways, byways, interstates, back roads in VA,
  MD, and DC
       g. Wegman's, Charcoal Kebab, Cake Love, Random Pool Halls, Parks,
  and so much more
    3. Lessons learnt:
       a. What isn't Wegmans?
       b. Aadha Chocolate, Aadha Vanilla
       c. Naghs is a rhyming genius
       d. Wonder Showzen + Muslim Kryptonite = amazing
       e. i am not meant to see the end of dodgeball
       f. you can eat a lot in 4 days
       g. sephora is free entertainment for 100 hours
       h. directions are for losers
  C. Cincinnati
    1. i go there a lot- but this time i had fun- mt adams was nice
    2. eat at teak
    3. barbecued anything is better
  D. Location for the indeterminate future:
    1. library, columbus, ohio, usa, world
    2. (while my family is traversing the globe going to russia,
 india, turkey, indonesia, singapore, and malaysia- i better
 get some damn good souvenirs.)
III. New Acquisitions (shopping is a good studying reward)
  A. Purse(s)
    1. i located a fun cheap summer one
    2. also picked up some knock-offs on m street in dc
  B. Shoe(s)
    1. very comfortable ecco sandals (a little too pricey, though)
    2. nine west tan heels at leesburg outlets (my search was finally over)
    3. now i am in the middle of a shoe moratorium
  C. Watch
    1. i have been in search of this scarf watch thingie for weeks
    2. looked for it in 4 cities and finally found it in DC
    3. i love it and keep getting compliments
  D. CDs
    1. Get Behind Me Satan- The White Stripes-i love this album, get it!
    2. Picaresque- The Decemberists (okay I stole this from my sister)
  E. Assorted Graduation Gifts
    1. Money!
       a. By far the best (gift certificates are okay too) and most received
       b. Hint, hint to all others
    2. Gold
       a. of the very shiny bright desi variety, thanks,
  but not really my cup of tea
  F. Camera!!!!!!
    1. this is what i am most excited about! i finally decided and ordered
 it this weekend- expecting it in the mail! i looked at a lot of them
 and researched different types. i decided not to get an slr after all-
 with all the lenses and accessories, a good slr would be well over $1000.
 i am into photography, but not that into it. I didn't really want just a
 point and shoot. So I considered the "prosumer" large zoom cameras,
 including: Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ20 and FZ5, Sony DSCH1, Canon
 PowerShot S2 IS, FujiFinepic S5100, and the Kinoca Minolta Z5. so most of
 them fell out of the running fairly quickly. I finally decided on the
 Canon PowerShot S2 IS. Both the Canon and the Sony just came out and after
 looking at a lot of reviews and comparisons, I decided on the Canon. I am
 very excited- you can read a thorough review here. I will let you know more
 when it arrives.
    2. just some digital camera observations: people are really obsessed with
 megapixels. i thought most people would see through the hype, but at
 every store, people who didn't know that much were running after the
 7 or 8 mp cameras. I decided on a 5.1 mp with a 12x optical zoom. Most
 point and shoots have 3x zooms and for the average user 8 mp is useless
 (unless they are making posters of their party pics).
    3. nyt has a nice short article for very novice digital camera users, it
 is a helpful and quick read.
IV. The BAR EXAM
  A. Hell
  B. I wasn't cut out for studying
  C. Please resuscitate me on July 29.
  D. I hear there are no exams to become a short-order cook.

my new toy (thanks mom and dad!)...

we who are your closest friends

2005-05-04T02:06:00.000-04:00

(by phillip lopate)

we who are
your closest friends
feel the time
has come to tell you
that every Thursday
we have been meeting,
as a group,
to devise ways
to keep you
in perpetual uncertainty
frustration
discontent and
torture
by neither loving you
as much as you want
nor cutting you adrift.
Your analyst is
in on it,
plus your boyfriend
and your ex-husband;
and we have pledged
to disappoint you
as long as you need us.
In announcing our
association
we realize we have
placed in your hands
a possible antidote
against uncertainty
indeed against ourselves.
But since our Thursday nights
have brought us
to a community
of purpose
rare in itself
with you as
the natural center,
we feel hopeful you
will continue to make unreasonable
demands for affection
if not as a consequence
of your disastrous personality
then for the good of the collective.

(sidenotes: one more final exam till freedom!/ i am going to chicago this weekend, graduating next weekend, then off to dc/ i have been having an impossible time falling asleep- i keep tossing and turning, thinking about every little detail/problem in the world, and noticing every slight sound/ whoever invented smoke detectors that beep when the battery is low should be shot. we have 7 smoke detectors in a 8 foot radius (yeah great design) and one of the ones in the hallway has been beeping infernally for the last week or so. with finals, no one has had time to go buy a 9 volt battery to replace it (plus we are all too short to reach it), finally in a fit of rage at 3 am (i hadn't slept in 30 odd hours) i got up, teetered on a chair and yanked the damned thing from the ceiling. and it kept beeping. i removed the battery and it kept beeping. what is in these things? i finally hid it in the linen closet behind some towels and boxes. it kept beeping but at least i couldn't hear it in my room. but then as i am trying to fall asleep, i realize that from hearing it for so long, i now have the beeping in my head! doh! (as homer would say)).

woke up again today, realized i hate myself, my face is a disease.

(about how i am feeling and the words of a great song (a happy medium) by malcolm middleton, of arab strap fame)

another way to avoid studying

2005-04-26T14:08:00.000-04:00

second rule of blogging: do not discuss blogging
gonna break it.

now that everyone and their mother has a blog, there is plenty of random stuff to read out there. really i am expecting a call from my mother: beta, maine bhi ek blog shuru kiya hai. and my dad replying: ye blogwog kya bakwas hai? (actually my mom should get an urdu blog and post shairi, hmmm maybe i shall suggest it).

well, now i have stumbled across my new favorite blogs: photo journals. not too many words, just amazing photographs. there are a lot of them out there. check out the photoblog resource page. also there is a great online magazine about photoblogs.

now what if i took two of my interests (south asia and photography) and combined them? well there are some really great south asian photoblogs out there. two of note include point & shoot and tasveer. check them out this picture is my fave.

i am supposed to be getting a digital slr camera for graduation. but i am not sure which one, do you all have any suggestions? here are some i am considering...

by the way if i did have a photoblog, i would start with this picture (not for its photographic quality but rather for its hilariousness):

p.s. i am in a really bad mood and i hate studying.

ditty(ies) discovered

2005-04-23T23:44:00.000-04:00

the first rule of good blogging: don't post lyrics to songs.
i am breaking it. there were never any claims of being a good blog.
i owe you no duty, so sue someone else.

minor discovery: sometime in the late 90s, during undergrad, i had heard a song i really liked. but i never knew the name nor the band. i just remembered a random line like: "i wish i were an alien at home behind the sun". no one could help me (bastards). i searched and never found it. then randomly listening to the radio some 7 years later, i heard the song. it was pearl jam's wishlist (off the yield album). you do not understand what a relief this was to finally know the name of that song and all the lyrics. it was like having an annoying itch that you just couldn't get rid of. i know i am a loser. (how could i not have recognized eddie vedder?)

major discovery: my sis brought back tarkan's album, dudu, from turkey. it took a while to grow on me, but i love it. my fave is uzun ince bir yoldayim. she mentioned that this song was a traditional turkish folk song. i tried to bug her about the lyrics but she was not very helpful (what good is her knowledge of turkish if not to help me understand pop songs?). and thus my quest began...

Uzun ince bir yoldayım
Gidiyorum gündüz gece
Bilmiyorum ne haldeyim
Gidiyorum gündüz gece
Dünyaya geldiğim anda
Yürüdüm aynı zamanda
İki kapılı bir handa
Gidiyorum gündüz gece

Kırkdokuz yıl bu yollarda
Ovada dağlarda çöllerde
Düşmüşüm gurbet ellerde
Gidiyorum gündüz gece

Şaşar Veysel iş bu hale
Kah ağlaya kah güle
Yetişmek için MENZİLE
Gidiyorum gündüz gece

translation:
i'm on a long and narrow road
on my way morning and night
i don't know what state i'm in
i'm on my way morning and night

from the moment i came into this world
began walking at the same time
in a place with two doors
i'm on my way morning and night

if ever it is thought of in depth
it'll seem far away when it's seen
the path is worth one minute in quantity
i'm on my way morning and night

Veysel is confused at the state of this....
some laugh and some cry
to reach upto the place of object (the goal)
i'm on my way morning and night

in the traditional way, the maqta in the last stanza contains the poet's name. and so i was interested in asik veysel. from lala i got some vague troubadour stuff. there are tons of sites devoted to him on the web with some really trippy pictures (mostly in turkish and german). you can find out more on the wiki site for turkish music and there is one on tarkan. uzun ince bir yoldayim is sung by many, including latif bolat.

so who is asik veysel? Asik Veysel (1894-1973) was an influential Turkish folk musician. He is one of the most renowned representatives of the "asik" tradition in the 20th century, which dates back to the 15th century in Anatolia. The Asik (a kind of troubadour), singing poetry (mostly their own) and playing the saz, has become the voice of common people, expressing their relationship with their land; their loves, inner conflicts, and expectations--generally depicting all aspects of rural life. Veysel's poetry is metrical, using predominantly 8- and 11-syllable meters. much of asik music originates from northeast anatolia, with different variations ranging from political satire to religious devotion (especially around the city of kars). now i really want to go to turkey (lala, go there cuz i will be bunking at your place).

(wow this was an extremely good way to avoid studying. by the way check out the additions to my blogroll: barely legal, sepia mutiny, sunshiney kittens, mrs. b to the rescue, and ho'dizzle fo'shizzle.)

edit: due to mrs. b, i had to go find this out, another useless piece of knowledge to stop me from remembering important things. you ask what is a fartlek? (well you didn't, but anyway) fartlek, developed in the 1930's, comes from the Swedish for 'Speed Play' and combines continuous and interval training. fartlek allows the athlete to run whatever distance and speed they wish, varying the intensity, and occasionally running at high intensity levels. this type of training stresses both the aerobic and anaerobic energy pathways. and all along we thought they were making it up!

it's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring

2005-04-22T01:01:00.000-04:00

the air still with heat,
heavy in humidity- as if the atmosphere itself is holding its breath
the bright and scorching sun lording over the blue spring sky
and yet darkness, grayness, and impending clouds
stand poised to move in
to overwhelm the tense heat
the heat as if a drug, intoxicating pedestrians
making them languid and slothful in their movements

the break- one drop, then two
with a gasp
the torrent unleashes itself
glistening crystals and pooling wetness
soothe the anxious earth
the pink and lavender of early evening
is cool with the rain
the clouds now light- unburdened
of their responsibilities
dance with the sun's rays
shafts of late sunlight stream through the spring rain
the coolness reigns as the truant heat awaits the morning

he went to bed, bumped his head and couldn't get up in the morning.
rain, rain go away, come again some other day.

*randomness:
quarter red potatoes, rub with olive oil, sprinkle with italian seasoning/salt/crushed red pepper, bake covered 375 till soft, 400 uncovered till crisp, yummy.

i finally found a place to buy rabbi shergill's album (i should've bought it this summer in delhi for 150 rupees) online at shrimati's. the buzz about him is everywhere- all over the blogistan, but definitely watch his video. now i have to go home and find my mom's book of bulla shah poetry.

good friends are great to talk to when you are having doubts. thanks guys.

lala is trying to make me feel better or something. anyway some researchers said that it is okay to be fat or something like that. read while eating a donut (or half a dozen).

the cultural landscape, as well as the social and political ones, has changed in the last decade of the 20th century: people change their domicile and country much more easily, they have continuous access to information on a planetary scale, and they have powers of consumption that their fathers would never have dreamed of. Are they happier? hobsbawm submits the question and tries to discuss it in his book: on the edge of the new century. (try to answer his queries for yourself. warning: may cause introspection)

recent regalements

2005-04-18T22:49:00.000-04:00

the last few weeks of law school are flying by! but before final exams are upon us, we are trying to have as much fun as possible. so there has been a lot of hanging out and staying up too late. i did get in some interesting things as well.

hotel rwanda: on wednesday, i finally saw the movie in a free showing at the union. it was a good movie, well at least as good as can be expected. i watched with a bunch of undergrads, which may not have been the best idea. what was the point of joaquin phoenix being in the movie? his journalist character was not well developed, nor crucial to the story. he served as a way to show the carnage? the movie in general could have used better writing, better editing, and better character development. it raised important issues and was definitely emotionally powerful. cheadle did a pretty good job. just as they said in the movie, as we walked out the reaction was primarily: oh that was so sad, let's go out and have fun now. plus as those who have actually worked in africa mentioned: it leaves us with a happy (come on- they escape to europe) hollywood ending, thus allowing us to be secure in our apathy that things turned out just fine.

rizwan-muazzam qawwali: on thursday, there was a live qawwali show at the mershon. brothers rizwan mujahid ali khan and muazzam mujahid ali khan have an impeccable musical pedigree - their grandfather personally taught nusrat fateh ali khan (they are his nephews) the art of qawwali singing. the pair comes from a family of 5 generations of qawwals. they did some traditional qawallis, some panjabi, some braj bhasha, and some newer interpretations. they are definitely rising stars. already the group is amazing, we can expect much more as they mature in their art. the audience was quite amusing as well. all the typical character were there: the traditional uncle/auntie types who loudly yell wah wah (and of course the crazy uncle who tries to dance in his seat), then there were the classy "sophisticated" asian types who come for all sorts of cultural arts (they are all dressed in black with a tasteful asian inspired shawl- which they picked up at nordstrom's), and of course my fave were the white hippy, desi-loving, patchouli-smelling kids who were grooving along to the qawwali. prior to the show, there was a lecture by professor ali akbar mahdi from ohio wesleyan. he spoke on tasawwuf and the traditions of muslim mystic music. it was fun to watch him persianize everything. afterward i picked up two cds: days of color and sacrifice to love. i am enjoying them quite a bit. also it was nice to run into a lot of people, including natasha's too cute parents.

edward said's last interview: early on friday evening, we caught the documentary by mike dibb of edward said's last interview. charles glass (abc's former chief mid east correspondent) spent a few hours with said in september 2003. edward said was quite passionate, articulate, and reflective in the interview. though long, it is definitely is worth watching. he commented on so many things, from american education (which he called a factory producing and brainwashing citizens, indoctrinating us with the state religion of patriotism) to his love of modernist literature (though difficult, read conrad!). sidenote: afterwards we had dinner at northstar, which i highly recommend. it has great tofu! as the reviews say, it is healthy food that you actually want to eat.

sin city: saturday night, we caught a late showing of the movie. i found it less violent or explicit than so many other movies. i loved the comic look and feel of the movie. done completely with blue screen, it had a beautifully surreal quality to it. i was amazed how many actors participated in the robert rodriguez film: bruce willis, benicio del toro, clive owen, jessica alba, rosario dawson, tobey macguire, brittany murphy, and even the gilmore girls kid (alexis bledel). tarantino guest directs a scene, with his usual kurosawa homages. it was definitely a fun movie! plus i don't mind clive owen ;)

some new music...

beck: guero, the new album, is good. very different from sea change- much faster and louder. i definitely like the first single off this album, e-pro. by the way did anyone see beck on snl? he didn't look too happy (but does he ever?) and what was up with the guy dancing in the flak suit? i want his job.

fischerspooner: i discovered this from music for robots. i really like their album: odyssey. listen to "just let go". if you like chemical bros., give them a try.

franz ferdinand: not the guy whose assassination led to WWI. i finally acquired the cd, because i have enjoyed it so much. the ffffire song is quite overplayed on the radio, but i really like "take me out". this is one of the few so-called "indie" bands that has not sacrificed quality in route to commercial success.

cardinal question: islam?

2005-04-12T10:30:00.000-04:00

nyt focuses today on the cardinal conclave's consideration of islam. the article suggests that islam and relations with muslims are major issues which the cardinals will take into considerations as they pick a new pope. pope john paul II was the first pope to step inside a mosque (damascus) and also apologized for past attrocities (e.g. crusades). he maintained a strict policy of dialogue with muslims.

yet many within the vatican and amongst cardinals feel that this policy is too lenient. they argue that islam is hostile, violent, and evangelical. thus they feel that catholics need to try to convert them at the very least. it is interesting that the article can take such a tone, it would be laughable if done with any other major world religion. but islam is now open to all sorts of shots and accusations.

interestingly, cardinals that have the most interaction with muslims (cardinal francis arinze of nigeria) feel that muslims and catholics have a lot to learn from each other. other cardinals feel that people of all faiths need to stand together to fight secularism. interestingly, other cardinals feel that muslims need to become more secular. oh so less secularism for catholics and more for muslims (oh maybe he is on to something). another hot button issue for the cardinals is the future inclusion of turkey into the eu. some see constantinople as one of the oldest european cities and many see it as a nation of another continent (who made up these continents anyway?).

i for one feel that dialogue is the best avenue, but i guess i am not a fan of catholics trying to convert me. (though if i was going to be christian, i would go catholic all the way, the churches are prettier and i love all the pomp and ceremony) but it is definitely up to muslims to come to the dialogue table and quash those factions that make it okay for people to openly say that islam is a violent religion, etc. man i saw militant buddhists in sri lanka, still no one feels it is okay to say that buddhism is a violent religion. actually when most people hear that there are militant buddhists they are shocked (man we need to hire their pr folks). more to think about: evangelism. in the past muslims have prided themselves on not being "evangelical", not sending out missionaries, when did we decide that aggressive evangelism was a good thing?

totus tuus ego sum

2005-04-08T11:39:00.000-04:00

i am completely in your hands.

pope john paul II was laid to rest today in rome. my sleep schedule has been quite off and thus i was awake near 4 am when the live broadcast of the funeral mass began. i only managed to stay awake through the first hour or so. but truly it was quite a wondrous event. the death, life, and the funeral mass of the late pope have so many lessons for us. it was spectacular to hear the thunderous applause of the crowds celebrating the life of the pope. it may seem incongruous with a funeral, but somehow the reverent applause seemed appropriate for such a man. as my mom said: why should we be sad; he was good and is going to meet his lord and the poor man won't have to watch all the pain and evil in the world.

st. peter's square was filled with pilgrims, over 2 million people descended upon rome for this event. nearly 1 million of these were poles. it was said that half of krakow was there. polish flags could be seen waving everywhere. but this pope was the pope of many peoples, having traveled so widely. people from every continent attended. additionally, many non-catholics attended as well. i didn't actually expect to see so many muslim leaders in attendance. i was pleasantly surprised. kings, queens, and heads of state from all over the world were in attendance. but faces that i didn't expect included president khatami from iran, president bashar al-assad of syria, and prime minister erdogan from turkey. a lot of other arab and asian countries sent representatives. i recognized prime minister rajapakse from sri lanka and few other faces. due to the french alphabetical seating the bushes were next to the chiracs (Etats-Unis d'Amérique, France). it was interesting to watch khatami and afghanistan's hamid karzai hobnob with (or at least greet) the israeli delegation. in addition to heads of state there were many religious leaders of almost every christian denomination. very impressively, many leaders of the eastern rite were in attendance including the ecumenical patriarch of constantinople (bartholomew II) and the greek orthodox archbishop christodoulos. (these people have pretty cool websites!). i was impressed by albania, who as their religious delegation sent selim muca of the (sunni) muslim community, rrok mirdita, the catholic archbishop, haxhi dede reshat bardhi of the (shi'ite) bektashi muslim sect and orthodox archbishop anastasios. now that is one diverse (and might i say awesomely dressed) delegation.

some notable absences include the patriarch of moscow, jimmy carter, and any reps from china. patriarch alexiy II of moscow was not in attendance. though constantinople is assumed as the historical center of the eastern rite, the real power lies in moscow. the patriarch did not like the pope and repeatedly refused to meet him. but he did send the head of external relations for the moscow patriarchate.
rumors swirl around carter's absence, since he was the first us president to invite the pope to the white house. some say the bush administration snubbed him due to his criticism of them, others say he was invited and declined to go. though he commented that the us delegation was a strong one (w, his daddy, laura, clinton, and condi).
lastly, china refused to send anyone because the vatican granted the taiwanese president chen shui-bian a visa to attend. anyway you can check out the complete list of attendees.

take some time and read the pope's last will and testament. such men who affect the world (both positively and negatively) don't come around very often. also the homily by german cardinal joseph ratzinger is worthy of reading. in these last documents and the comments by pope and his biographers one idea continues to surface. he urged against the virulent materialism and consumerism that is enveloping us. he urged us to look towards spirituality and to stand firm against cruelty. being lost in this world and forgetting the weak around us he warned us against. as he himself began, he urged us to allow ourselves to be completely in His hands.

(sidenotes: i apologize for the lack of posting. school is whooping me. i have 30 odds days till graduation. my symposium went off without a hitch (okay without any big ones). the days are too pretty to spend inside at a computer. this look is temporary, working on something new. looks like chapati mystery has become group blog, and natasha is crying. lala is looking murderous and all the while being elected to positions of authority (scary!). i have a penchant for roaming, i have been locked in c-bus too long. i will be hitting up different cities shortly (as soon as i get pesky exams out of the way). lululee has turned into a lizard (it was bound to happen when the clock struck midnight) and the azman's drug supply has run dry and thus he had decided to become a librarian. my room is a mess, my life is a mess, and generally things are back to normal. ooh plus it is sandal season! just a word of advice, if you ever have to fill out a sf86 form, never lose it.)

puzzling

2005-03-17T13:25:00.000-05:00

woo hoo! spring break is almost upon us. i finished my arabic final, which proved to be quite impossible. the prof thought it would be fun to use verbs in the 8th form in passive imperfect subjunctive forms. so much to talk about (bolton as the new un ambassador, wolfowitz as the head of the world bank, the acquittal of robert blake, the 3 billion dollar hotel in abu dhabi), but alas i am not going to. my symposium is keeping me crazy (you can check it out!) and i am going to go party. i got a job (in foreign policy!) and it pays well! this is such a relief. other than that, i am going to enjoy spring break. but to not leave you completely hanging, here is a fun puzzle to complete. i shamelessly stole this idea from someone else's blog. enjoy!

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

2005-03-13T12:42:00.000-05:00

T.S. Eliot (1917)

S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.

LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats 5
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question …
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
. . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”
. . . . .
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

montefeltro

(the mpre is over! i read dante's divine comedy in an italian class in college. eliot takes his epigraph from the inferno. Count Guido da Montefeltro, embodied in a flame, replies to Dante's question about his identity as one condemned for giving lying advice: "If I believed that my answer would be to someone who would ever return to earth, this flame would move no more, but because no one has ever returned alive from this gulf, if what I hear is true, I can reply with no fear of infamy." maybe instead of the aba model rules, we should be studying dante?)

kudos and cringes

2005-03-04T16:38:00.000-05:00

kudos: to martha stewart for taking her prison time head on and not whining about it all over the press. sure she was in a federal minimum security place, but she was still incarcerated, it was no time off in the hamptons! her stock survived (and has been rising steadily) and her recipe for orange-chocolate lace cookies is still the best!

cringe: as if the story wasn't bad enough. mukhtar mai, the woman in pakistan who had been sentenced to gang rape by her tribal council, raised her voice and took the issue to court. well the rapists had their sentence overturned, with 5 of the 6 set free! the story just gets worse, with the molesting of her brother. her story is detailed on her website. interestingly a local imam stood up against the tribal council and used his pulpit to call for the authorities to take action. in the end mukhtar mai, along with supportive others, brought the case to court. it took a strong woman to bring such a case, and she used her monetary award to start a school in the village. now with the rapists freed she faces not only personal danger and but in one act the courts have announced to pakistani women that their rape is justified.

kudos/cringe: maria full of grace is a good movie, kudos. it explores the lives of columbian drug mules and the dangers they face. the cringe-worthy part is the number it will do on your digestive track. just thinking about it makes me gag.

cringe: my education symposium is killing me. why are speakers so finicky? why can no one give me a straight answer? who said third year was easy? i have no clue what is going on in my classes, as i am usually working on the symposium while sitting in class. why did i pick education as a topic? i don't care about education anymore! i just need to get past april 4.

kudos: damien rice, closer doesn't really have a soundtrack, but the one song at the end of the movie by rice: blower's daughter, is amazing. heart-wrenching actually.

cringe: i have to take the mpre next weekend. i just sat through a wonderful 5 hour review course. i can't imagine a better way to spend a sunny sunday afternoon. at least they tried to ply us with junk food. the best is the emphatically ridiculous examples: like if a juror is about to get hit by a bus and the lawyer on the case yells "get out of the way", disbar him right away- no de minimis contact with jurors. oh ethics.

kudos: thanks to lala i have been listening to sodastream and enjoying them greatly. those aussies are very cool.

cringing kudos?: so the brits at least are being honest that muslims will face far more scrutiny in terms of security. yes there is all that stuff about racial profiling, but if they are going to do it anyway, at least someone had the guts to be straight about it. and what did you think, that you could look like me and breeze through security? oh the joys of "random" searches.

kudos: i went to the sheetal boutique in bombay and now i saw their website. wow, their clothes are very unique and cool. very bombay in feel. ok a bit too pricey and midriff revealing for me, but fun to look at nonetheless!

cringe: my car is acting up and is at the mechanics. no transport, well at least there is the #2 bus. maybe this is a good thing, i am sure the walking is good for me.

kudos: to mafia and texas hold'em and hours of wasting time hanging out. yes it was lots of fun, with little sleep, and lots of laughs. alas my room is still a mess and my homework is giving me disappointed glares. aah another weekend in c-bus.

ethically yours (well at least as much as the aba requires).

i hate february

2005-03-01T14:13:00.000-05:00

what self-respecting month has less than thirty days? march is here already? i want february back! give me my two days!

i spent the weekend in chicago and now march has come and surprised me. i have so much work to do and so little time to do it. rather i have so little will to finish it, i would rather sit on the couch and watch jeopardy. plus the snow outside makes me want to stay put in front of my fireplace.

road tripping is great. i had fun with azthebaz and lala.
chicago was lots of fun. i met up with lots of people, played poker, went shopping, had a few interviews, went to a couple random parties, and generally chilled. i am taking the mpre soon and i attempted to study during the trip. it was largely a failure. some things i learned on the trip:
1. do not eat huevos rancheros early in the morning (really this one is important)
2. all muslims are connected in a ridiculous way and on devon you will always run into people you know
3. gambling is very addictive, if i actually did it i am sure i would lose my life savings on texas hold'em
4. desi children can not pronounce the groceries which they are sent to purchase on devon
5. some people care a lot about instrumentation of music and they can talk about it for a long time
6. leather shoes need lots of moisturizer
7. everyone looks better in dim lighting
8. wearing hijab is a acquired skill and i could get rich by selling instructional videos (okay maybe not rich, but it would be funny)
9. damn, a suit and heels makes one want to earn real money (or at least boss others around)
10. saidian is now a word (from edward said).

*other than that school is killing me. i am wasting time watching movies. i saw my beautiful laundrette (again), the village, napoleon dynamite (again), swades, and moulin rouge (again), and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

a friend had her second baby. a bunch of us visited her in the hospital and as we walked out, i think we could all hear that stupid biological clock ticking loudly. we immediately squashed that, though her baby was so adorable.

johnson v. california was finally decided last week and the supreme court held that even in the prison context, strict scrutiny was the appropriate standard for racial segregation. again oconnor was the author for the majority opinion, is this another sign of an impending cj-ship. my particular interest in 14th amendment jurisprudence makes this case especially interesting.

federated just bought out may company. i am sure no one cares but azthebaz and i. interesting for the department store mkt. as trends go, i am sure the sec will approve this one. this continues in the downward spiral of department stores. the large behemoth department stores no longer anchor malls and people have been steadily moving their business to small specialty stores or larger discount retailers like target. so malls with only one or two department store anchors are becoming the new norm. federated is putting its macy's brand on all its stores, like bon-macy's in seattle or our very own lazarus becoming just macy's.

yesterday a car bomb killed over 100 people outside a clinic in hilla, iraq. more and more people are dying. today a marine and fellow law student who spent most of the last two years in iraq spoke with some of us about his experiences. it was very interesting to hear his perspective and his frustrations. his most intense sentiments were about how life in the us is going on like normal. we, as americans, don't realize that the country is at war. we go on with our normal lives, watch american idol, go shopping, etc. he wished that the war was reality in our minds.

one last thought: sour gummy jolly ranchers will give you a tummy ache. here is a nice pic i took on the road.

what the hell is a cinnamon peeler?

2005-02-23T10:44:00.000-05:00

okay, okay enough of you keep asking. what is up with the title? who is the cinnamon peeler's wife? aren't you single and destined to be a spinster?! oh i get it: there is no such thing as a cinnamon peeler and thus you are no one's wife? nice try guys, very funny. but the question remains...

well the title comes from ondaatje's book of poetry and the poem of the same name. his poem evokes the sultry scent that would come from a cinnamon peeler and in turn his love. the images of the poem are amazing and thus prompted me to start a blog. in reality there have existed cinnamon peelers for centuries. the print above shows the cinnamon peelers harvesting the branches. like tea plantation workers and others in sri lanka, they lived in small communities during colonial times, spending their time harvesting the lucrative cinnamon crop for the portuguese, the dutch, the brits, and later the landed elites. there is a long history of cinnamon peelers rising up and leading revolts against their colonizers, famously against the dutch in the 1700s. sri lanka was long famed as the home of the world's best cinnamon, and it was this that initially lured the different travelers, merchants, and colonizers. when the portuguese arrived in 1536 they found a huge cinnamon forest on the west coast and made a bundle from harvesting and selling the spice. those hurt the most by the arrival of the europeans were the salagama, the traditional cinnamon peeling caste. as the demand for cinnamon grew, their living conditions and the demands made upon them worsened. during the british rule, the rates of mortality among the salagama soared. it became common practice for cinnamon peelers to register their children under names from other castes so that they could escape the life of cinnamon peeling.

Cinnamomum zeylanicum, the botanical name for cinnamon comes from the former name of sri lanka: ceylon. sri lanka remains the world's foremost producer of cinnamon, in terms of quantity and quality. from the cinnamon tree, the coarse outer bark can be ground into a powder that is dark brown, has a cinnamon aroma, but a flat, harsh taste. this powder is used in meat dishes and in other coarser dishes. what you know as cinnamon actually comes from the inner bark of the plant. this inner bark is carefully peeled from cut branches and rolled by cinnamon peelers into long quills that resemble giant cigars. the quills are cut into the familiar shorter cinnamon sticks. cinnamon peeling is a highly skilled technique that is still carried out by the salagama, who are quite separate from the cinnamon growers. the processes used are still highly traditional and non-mechanized. you can read more about the actual process at the spice of life; also you can buy best quality cinnamon straight from sri lanka through devi trading. be warned: much of what is passed off as cinnamon in the states is actually cassia, a much coarser plant from burma, which does not have the same delicate taste and aroma of true cinnamon.

the best cinnamon concoction i had in sri lanka was cinnamon and jaggery ice cream, yum! alas i never did meet a cinnamon peeler.

she would buy the flowers herself: creativity or psychoses

2005-02-21T12:44:00.000-05:00

this is not really what i wanted to post about. but somehow it seems relevant. i remember standing on fountain's square with my dad one winter morning many years ago and somehow we were discussing the correlation between genius and psychoses. well maybe not actually psychoses, but definitely an inherent tendency towards reclusivity/moodiness/eccentricity (euphemisms for some sort of psychosis?). it sparked my interest, is there some sort of geometric relationship between the level of creative genius and psychoses. when i was in research, i did read some papers that found a positive correlation. i think i still have some of them. almost all that argued for a strong correlation were careful to exclude direct causation, i.e. there is no proof that one causes the other. or is it just that when the person is a genius, we tend to notice their acute social psychoses in greater detail? what if it is rather the scrutiny that a creative genius faces that leads to the withdrawal from the world? maybe it's just mind-altering drugs...

anyway a pioneer in gonzo journalism passed on sunday: dr. hunter s. thompson. he is renown for his strange ways, his drug use, and his biting commentary. he took his life in his home with a gun from his small armory, surrounded by his prized peacocks. read his the rum diary, fear and loathing in lv, fear and loathing on the campaign trail, the great shark hunt, hell's angels, and more. was it the creative genius, the drugs, or just life? and a fitting quote by thompson: "The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over".

last week i watched the hours. i know it is old, but my roommate just happened to rent it. the movie has 3 women dealing with suicide in different ways. i had read mrs. dalloway in college (in a modern british lit class) and had enjoyed woolf, as well as waugh and d.h. lawrence. i have never read the hours, which inspired the movie, but i really liked the splicing of three stories. woolf, was herself a creative genius who was haunted by her own demons. she heard voices and was often anxious to the point of sickness. her own demons forced her to move away from bloomsbury (where one could argue existed a modernist literary and artistic cooperative like no other of its time). after several attempts throughout her life and several diagnoses from her doctors, woolf took her life in the river ouse, near sussex, in 1941. she is quoted in her note to her husband as writing: "I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been". the movie made me want to go back to mrs. dalloway. i was at my parents' house this weekend and found the book in the stacks of my college books in the basement. re-reading part of the book made me like the movie even more. mrs. dalloway goes through her day with the confidence that leads all to believe that she is stable and mentally sound, all the while hiding her own insecurities and inner turmoil. yet in the end it is the poet septimus that commits suicide, leaving mrs. dalloway at her party.

from woolf's waves (her husband chose these words for her memorial plaque): "Death is the enemy. Against you I will fling myself, unvanquished and unyielding, O Death!" The waves broke on the shore."

i have no thesis here, just rambling. random things connecting in my head.

(p.s. for those who skipped my babbling- frosted animal cookies are grrrrrreat.)

sunny day, sweepin' the clouds away

2005-02-16T14:20:00.000-05:00

wow, yesterday was a surprisingly beautiful and warm day. the temperature was in the 60s. the sky was so blue and the air crisp. in the middle of winter, it was a rare treat. i could definitely feel a change in my mood. everything was just better when the weather is nice. alas today we are back to cold, rainy, and dreary. oh please spring, hurry up and arrive.

there is a great traveling art exhibit entitled: "A Saint in the City: Sufi Arts of Urban Senegal". it has some great pieces. there is an article exploring the art in the nyt. the exhibit is a great way to expose people to the tradition of tassawuf in islam. an interesting observation in the article, recognizing the picasso-esque forms in the art: "Yet Picasso's adaptation of African forms is viewed as evidence of his receptive vision, while an African artist riffing on Picasso's riffs on Africa is a copycat."

yusuf islam (cat stevens) just got back from indonesia where he was doing relief work. he has now won a libel suit against two british newspapers. they also had two publish apologies to him for labeling him a terrorist supporter. he has been named a 'man of peace'. all the damages from the suit are being donated to tsunami victims. way to go cat!

"Our continuing uneconomic growth makes us complicit in a process that is triggering an ecological catastrophe for our children and generations beyond them. They will justifiably sit in judgment on our failure to have prevented its devastating consequences knowing that we chose to look the other way." (Mayer Hillman, environmentalist and author) read fears for a finite planet.

happy v day... boom

2005-02-14T11:43:00.000-05:00

well it's the 14th of february. just another day for me, but in the world of bombers must be something special. a huge car bomb in beirut killed several people including lebanon's former prime minister. then abu sayyaf claimed responsibility for the v-day bomb in the phillipines. a series of 3 bombs killed many and wounded upwards of a 100 people. in bangladesh, v-day revelers were shocked by the three bombs that went off in dhaka. i mean i hate v-day as much as the next person, but what the hell is up with the bombings. well valentine's is not much fun in assam, where there is a strict curfew. and of course the whole thing is banned in saudi, so purveyors of hearts be aware. and of all things shiv sena is leading protest marches against the saint and his western culture (including calling it prostitution day and burning cards). not to be outdone, al-qaeda and pals are calling for jihad against valentines, because as we all know "human love is haram, al-hub is forbidden outside jihad" (you have to read their anti-love fatwas for yourself).

but if you were smart and invested in rose commodities, don't worry the price for roses is soaring (up some 90%), from pittsburgh to pakistan.

oh but how can i not at least leave you with some thing loverly (yes it is a word now). well here is a love poem emailed to me by a fellow compatriot.

The Ocean (Laura St. Martin)

the ocean is a strange
midnight lover
skinning dipping
when the beach patrol has left
she is a cool seduction
wrapping blue thunder
around slick brown shoulders
raising great foam-fringed arms
to a steel sky rushing over us sometimes
tumbling us to the shore
licking the rocks passionately
only to retreat into swirling indecision
tense always prancing and
the moon casts a furious gleam on the many-knuckled sea

p.s. another great one (much too long to post here) is maggie estep's "the stupid jerk i'm obsessed with", this one may be appropriate for some of my anonymous pals.
:edit: oh my dearies check out this wonderful anti-valentine's day site. pure genius.

silent

2005-02-12T18:02:00.000-05:00

Silentium. Fyodor Tyutchev (translated by Vladimir Nabokov)

Молчи, скрывайся и таи
И чувства и мечты свои -
Пускай в душевной глубине
Встают и заходят оне
Безмолвно, как звезды в ночи,-
Любуйся ими - и молчи.

Как сердцу высказать себя?
Другому как понять тебя?
Поймет ли он, чем ты живешь?
Мысль изреченная есть ложь;
Взрывая, возмутишь ключи,-
Питайся ими - и молчи.

Лишь жить в себе самом умей -
Есть целый мир в душе твоей
Таинственно-волшебных дум;
Их оглушит наружный шум,
Дневные разгонят лучи,-
Внимай их пенью - и молчи!..

1830

Speak not, lie hidden, and conceal
the way you dream, the things you feel.
Deep in your spirit let them rise
akin to stars in crystal skies
that set before the night is blurred:
delight in them and speak no word.

How can a heart expression find?
How should another know your mind?
Will he discern what quickens you?
A thought once uttered is untrue.
Dimmed is the fountainhead when stirred:
drink at the source and speak no word.

Live in your inner self alone
within your soul a world has grown,
the magic of veiled thoughts that might
be blinded by the outer light,
drowned in the noise of day, unheard...
take in their song and speak no word.

(i came across this poem inside a book from the libary. the book was causes for war by blaney- for my conflict/peace class. i wonder whose bookmark was this poem. i can't read the russian but the script is so captivating. nabokov the translator intrigues me a great deal- i have read his book on gogol and invitation to a beheading. his lolita is the subject of nafisi's book. maybe i will read it next. i know he wrote poems as well, but have never come across them. send me one if you have any favorites. his butterflies are on exhibit in new york and part of the exhibit is online. finding stuff in old books or library books is always exciting, like someone left a message just for me, but usually it is old envelopes or random pieces of paper.)

do you believe in what you see... everyone's saying different things to me

2005-02-10T11:27:00.000-05:00

i have been meaning to write since monday, but being out of town for four days puts you behind in your real life. yes it was nice to escape the daily grind if only for a little while. i slept for less than 5 hours over the four days- not good but lots of fun.

i flew to new york early friday morning and took the M60 from laguardia to columbia. a friend from sri lanka is doing her LLM there and lives at the international house. the pic above is the view from her window looking over the hudson, you can also see grant's tomb, etc. i didn't really think that i would like new york, but i ended up loving it. i hung out all day and met lots of interesting people, including my fave: a south african jewish gay buddhist scriptwriter. that is exactly how he introduced himself, quite the character. i ate great halal gyros off the street which was awesome as long as you can deal with the flirting of the vendor. we saw times square and all that jazz. later we went to moma (museum of modern art). some of my faves that i saw:

oh so many picassos

i really love klimt and dali. it was wonderful and the newly renovated museum is a wonderful structure itself. i ran into some friends from undergrad, which was very unexpected. new york started feeling like a much smaller place. later we met up with a friend from boston. the night went on and included meeting up with more people. washington square and the village kept us busy till about 4am. we crammed in as much fun as possible.

the next day, i was off to allentown for a walima. it was nice and pretty comfortable. the walima (as in comparison to the shaadi) was so much more relaxed and thus we could all enjoy it more. on saturday night we ended up playing taboo till 4:30 am (there is little to do in allentown). when we finally got back to our hotel rooms, there were drunk kids in the hallway with a keg. they were so hilarious but kept knocking on our door and we ended up getting into a bit of a verbal battle. they came back and apologized in the morning when they had sobered up. in terms of weddings: i never realized that there was so much to makeup. but i was educated quite summarily by my friends. i think my face is still burning from all the gook that was on it. the food at the party was great, desi catering on the east coast is much better than ohio (and dare i say chicago). we hung out afterwards with the wedding party and watched the super bowl. can i say that the half-time show was lame. though a guy there (who had been an mtv staffer) told us all about how the people cheering had been trained and paid to look excited. it was sad day with so many philly fans, yeah but most people were there for another game (having nothing to do with football). the whole singles game was so funny that it was sad. all i can say is trust no one!

we drove back to new york pretty late on sunday. the next morning was brunch with friends (including hijabman) at tom's restaurant (of seinfeld fame) then a quick tour of columbia, and finally my flight back. it was a fast weekend but non-stop amusement. things are extra boring now back in ohio. here is a pic from the plane:

*other random notes:
(a) as the title tells you- i am listening to the garden state soundtrack.(besides the obvious faves of coldplay and the shins, i really like zero 7 and thievery corporation) that and 99.9 degrees by suzanne vega arrived from amazon. wonderful. (the vega cd was one of the first tapes i bought in 7th grade when i emerged from the nkotb phase, great memories)..
(b) did you all see aishwarya rai on letterman? was it just me or did she give him some attitude? i think she is getting too big for her britches. i saw bride and prejudice (yes it was a pirated edition) and it had its moments. but all in all not such a great movie. i just couldn't get over bollywood style songs in english.
(c) in new york a friend suggested i read azar nafisi's reading lolita in tehran. i was intrigued by the premise and thus picked it up at the airport. (where coincidentally the bookstore lady was sri lankan and we ended up having a great conversation about asian writers, i got some good recommendations) by the time i had flown home i had already read half the book. i haven't had the time to finish it, but i really am enjoying it so far. great lines, including: "do not, under any circumstances, belittle a work of fiction by trying to turn it into a carbon copy of real life, what we search for in fiction is not so much reality but the epiphany of truth."
(d) don cheadle and hotel rwanda. i have not seen this movie as of yet. everyone keeps telling me that it is life changing, except for friends of mine who have worked in africa. they feel that nothing can actually express the magnitude of the horrors. but even they admit that the movie is done well for hollywood. well last night on nightline cheadle did a piece on darfur. he and paul rusesabagina traveled there and visited refugee camps. quite interesting, take a look if you get a chance. read up on darfur. some interesting figures: in the last few decades atrocities have killed so many africans, idi amin in uganda killed 400,000 in the 1970s, the civil war in congo in the last 5 years has claimed over 3 million lives, and of course in 1994 in just a few days 800,000 perished in rwanda. now in darfur, UN reports are of 70,000 to 100,000 deaths, 400 villages destroyed, and over 2 million people driven from their homes. working with internally displaced persons in sri lanka (from the civil war and now tsunami), i learned that the war or genocide is only the beginning of a can of worms. It takes a society decades and generations to recover from this sort of trauma. also check out the African Union (made up of 53 nations) who were the first to try to respond and monitor in Darfur.
(e) there is an interesting photo essay about the recovery in sri lanka on the nyt.

no matter which way you go, you're out of my mind

2005-02-01T10:15:00.000-05:00

1. happy tuesday to you all.

2. first and foremost a huge congratulations to sa-hore! (i know i am spelling it wrong, but otherwise some strange searches end up on this site) yay! she got into michigan law school. i know you buckeyes hate that school up north, but i don't care. she rocks and now can have fame and fortune. or at least many years of law school debt. now get to reading grutter v. bollinger. i am on call for that case in 14th amendment. so sorry affirmative action doesn't work for you- too many asians in professional schools.
(in your best desi uncle voice): "beta, wery, wery good, now you can become a top-class solicitor." but those of us who love you know that you were already into solicitation.

3. for all you turkophiles (okay lala): there is a great exhibit touring europe about turkish history and civilization. i want to see it in london! a great pr move to warm up eu nations. read about it in the nyt: Turkey Knocks on Europe's Door With a Thousand Years of Culture. Check out the cool helmet!

4. i am using crest vivid white toothpaste (this is for you azher). i like it a lot! it has a very refreshing taste and feel to it. it probably doesn't really whiten any better than the rest, but the placebo effect is great. nothing like paying more money for toothpaste just to make you think it works. ;)

5. as the title alludes to, i really like this new tegan and sara song: walking with a ghost. it gets in your head and just will not get out. I said please please don't insist, I was walking with a ghost. Listen and watch the vid here. Oh they are canadian and have a very folk band look.

6. the iraqi elections went on as scheduled. bushie was excited that the violence wasn't higher. the news kept doing human interest pieces like one where a humvee drove a man half a mile so that he could vote. obviously they had nothing better to do. but if you want the real story get it from robert fisk. he highlights the low sunni turnout all the while acknowledging the courageous turnout by shiias. read it, you will like it. One Iraqi stated it quite politely in the nyt coverage: "We thank the Americans for destroying the regime of Saddam," he said. "But often, they were not careful for the people; they did many wrong things. Now, we know what they are looking for. They are looking for oil, and military bases, and domination of the new regime. They will have their military headquarters for the region in Iraq, and when they will leave, nobody knows."

7. while at a groundhog day party (complete with groundhog hand towels and burrow shaped cupcakes) in madison county (yes in the middle of no where), we were listening to a lot of the smiths and the best of morrissey. i love the smiths, i came right home and bought the best of the smiths 2 cd set off amazon- i can't wait to get it in the mail. everyone should listen to the smiths.

8. the nepali saga continues. and just when you thought it could not get worse than the prince massacring the royal family. well last summer the state dept put out its warning, such that i was diverted to sri lanka- the rebels were getting very active. and now the king has fired the entire government. he calls it a "national emergency". this is just part of the whole semantic game. the US calls the rebels "maoists" (who by the way want democratic elections); in this way we can all be against the commies and really support the king! by the way these rebels are some of the most organized that i have heard of- a bunch of my friends who did the whole thamel/backpacking thing were stopped while on a trek. they paid the 30 US dollar fee and in turn the 'rebels' gave them a receipt. Thus the next time they were stopped by rebels on the road, they showed them the receipt and were allowed to go freely on their way. how sweet.

9. mohamed zakariya is among the best living calligraphers of the arabic language, definitely the foremost american in the field. he designed the famous eid stamp. there is a cool bunch of videos where he explains his work and calligraphy in general.

10.

as davos (world economic forum) wraps up in switzerland with all its rich and flashy participants, the anti-davos also ended in porto alegre, brazil. at davos there was the sharon stone stand-up for africa (she got a million dollars in five minutes). but the world social forum (often called the anti-davos) was a meeting of activists, downtrodden groups, and other people on the left. zmag offers an insight into the conference and also coverage of its final manifesto (which this year was a move away from the past horizontal structure of the meeting).

okay kids have a fun weekend, i will be in new york and philly. bundle up, it is too cold out there. and please figure out the comment button, once you push it the comment will appear. ;)

vagaries of existence

2005-01-28T10:35:00.000-05:00

i apologize for the dearth of posts. school work (or at least my attempt to bs it) is keeping me very busy. well actually not so much work for my classes, but other stuff. so in the pipeline, i am applying for jobs (both for the govt and a bunch of ngos). additionally i have applied for various clerkships at any international adjudicatory body (itlos, icsid, icc, icj, etc.). i have applied to international law llm programs just to live in europe. also i am chairing the woodside speaker series and we are focusing on education, poverty, and disparity. so any speaker suggestions would be welcome. we are working on getting j. kozol (read his savage inequalities).
in terms of classes, besides the normal law ones (international ip, copyright, 14th amendment, professional responsibility) i am taking an arabic grammar class (oh so much fun) and a poli sci grad class (peace and conflict). what can i say i am a glutton for punishment. so that is what is up in my life. here are a few interesting tidbits for you all:

1. going to the chapel and i am going to get... no. no more weddings! since thanksgiving i have gone to a handful of weddings, mostly desi. and of course people continue to get engaged: desi and otherwise. i am tired of all the pressure, ostentation, guilt, gossip, and craziness that is a desi wedding. but there is nothing new about that and people continue to discuss marriage, relationships, and all that jazz. however recent discussion and some interesting articles sparked some new topics (and you all thought we had talked relationships to death!). all my friends are in three critical phases: 1- worrying about/hating marriage and yet talking about it nonstop (i.e. single) 2- in the lalaland that is the engagement/honeymoon phase and yes they can not stop talking about their angelic significant other (you are officially annoying) and 3- the "on my second child, have been married for years" girls who keep trying to convince the rest of us of their wedded bliss (we are not buying it!). anyway while i give my heartfelt congratulations to those in phases 2 and 3, i have to love all my girls (and guys) in #1. all i can say is for all this talking, phase 1 is fun. now when i say this people will respond that i am just trying to convince myself that i don't want to get married. it is not that, when (and if) it happens it will be (hopefully) wonderful. but right now life is fun and great. so for everyone fretting, stop. you don't have to wake up in the middle of the night for the crying baby. you get up and go whenever you want to. okay so you have deal with your mother's nagging, but from what i hear that nevers stops anyway. so let's enjoy the freedom! anyway if you are a smart woman, marriage is not a cakewalk! the men just want mommy article in the nytimes sparked much discussion among my friends and my inbox was flooded with comments about it. it was something we have always believed anyway that was just affirmed in the nyt. i watched 'love actually' again recently and the article made me see the movie very differently. the paradox faced by women reminded me of "women don't ask". this book is a must read for all professional women: how can one be assertive and not be labeled bitchy?
also on the topic a fairly comical look at non-desi (read white) weddings from a desi perspective. here's a great line: desi weddings have devolved into games of one-upmanship, with each family trying to outdo the last in terms of extravagance and ostentation. I'm expecting the next invitation sent to our home by carrier pigeon or perhaps inscribed in bricks of solid gold.
well i am (gulp) off to another one in philly next weekend!

2. galvanize. the new single off the chemical brother's new album: push the button. very catchy. something about it makes you listen. it samples some arabic music and it features q-tip from a tribe called quest. watch the video.

3. my poli sci class is full of first and second year phd students. for me it is a very interesting sociological study. the difference between grad students and law students is quite apparent. the jargon, the dress, and the outlook between graduate and professional students is interesting. as an outsider there is something romantic about the pure pursuit of knowledge that is academia, unsullied by the drive/race that is professional school. but on further thought (and listening to my sister suffer in grad school), i realize that i need a break from school.
anyway in the midst of yesterday's discussion of deterrence and nuclear war, the prof decided to bring up writing style. most grad students have heard the pleas about elegant writing. i totally agree, academic writing that is grating to the ear and abrasive to the mind is not good writing. dr. schweller reminds us that 9 out of 10 times, if you read something and it hurts your head this is not because you are too dumb to understand. rather it is due to the writers lack of ideas cloaked in verbal incoherence. using complicated sentences with a lot of big words does not result in good ideas. elegant and enlightening ideas are capable of being expressed in terse and simple language. beautiful prose has a cadence to it that makes it enjoyable to read. anyway he mentioned a great book for style: ten lessons on grace and clarity. i must admit that i like this book. it has good examples and focuses on modern american writing. i only wish my writing was graceful. on a totally random sidenote, in the same class someone mentioned america's plan for a 'gay bomb'. i thought he was loony but no it is true.

4. 12% of Americans believe that Noah's wife was Joan of Arc! so we are a country that believes God speaks in the bible but can't be bothered to read it. anyway the la times carries an interesting article showing while americans might be more religious than europeans, we are by far more ignorant about religion. comparative religion is a common topic in european schools, but alas the failures of the american public school system abound.

a little bit of law and other ramblings

2005-01-18T11:19:00.000-05:00

1. happy mlk day. Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice, and ... when they fail to do this purpose they become dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress. These words are from Dr. King's letter from Birmingham Jail. It was hearing these words that really pushed me over the brink, leaving behind med school, and embarking on the journey to law school. Establishing justice in the flow of history and social progress is accomplished through small changes: law and its manifestations are the bulldozers for the structured dams blocking the flow for so many. Maybe a foolhardy notion, but maybe i am not jaded as i thought.

2. so the report of the train fire in gujarat, india is out. just a small sidenote in the ny times. but the report confirms that the fire was an accident (not the result of a mob). but the aftermath of the fire is undisputed: 2500 Muslims killed in a systematic fashion. while in sri lanka, i had lunch with a prof from William & Mary, who was studying the Gujarat pogroms. he had found that the electoral rolls and public records had been distributed to the goondas ahead of time.

3. i have been reading Hunter S. Thompson's Fear & Loathing on the Campaign Trail. It is almost eerie how closely the McGovern campaign against Nixon in 1972 mirrors this past election. Just as Kerry hopefuls imagined a huge turnout by those disaffected by Bush's policies, so did McGovern supporters. They saw students, civil rights supporters, anti-war activists, and other anti-Nixon people to turn out in droves to kick out Tricky Dick. Alas just as Bushie surprised all the blue staters, so did Nixon. Even Thompson had foreseen a McGovern landslide and was sadly disappointed. One explanation offered in the book is that no matter how many young voters you get, they ultimately vote just like their parents and thus do not affect the vote. Only about 10% of those actually disaffected vote and make a change. Additionally, no losing candidate in the last 50 years has got less than 40% of the popular vote, thus arguing that no major party candidate can be 20% different from the other candidate. Basically they are all the same. An interesting read.

4. saw spanglish and sideways this weekend. liked them both. spanglish is one of those feel good relationship/family movies- but nice nonetheless. sideways is hilarious, though not one to drink, the wine knowledge may be useful somewhere.

5. there is a nice article about doctors in pottuvil, sri lanka in the aftermath of the tsunami. pottuvil is a small almost 100% muslim town on the east coast of sri lanka. pottuvil is just outside of arugam bay, the hottest surfing spot in sri lanka. i stayed there for a fun weekend at a small hotel on the beach. pottuvil has a great eco-tourism spot with mangrove conservation. or at least it did. but anyway a nice story about a wonderful village. okay this was the place where the villagers wouldn't leave me alone but still i miss it.

6. i am in international intellectual property this semester. a class full of people who believe that corporations should rule the world. we have been discussing the strategic reasons why developing nations would adopt stringent ip laws. of course there is the aids medications debates. our prof threw out the idea of reparations for colonialism and giving away ip for this. people were in an uproar, it wasn't the poor corporations who colonized the third world (british east india company?). anyway along similar lines india may decide to stop producing their generic aids drugs and all this means just more problems for african nations that need the drugs desperately. the editorial is entitled: india's choice. but really the wto leaves very little in the way of choice, no more gatt ala carte, india just like other nations are pressured into adopting the new ip standards. how about price gouging: why are the same drugs sold in norway at a fraction of the cost that they are sold at in malawi?

7. by the way i am really enjoying les nubians. listen to them. also the garden state soundtrack is great!

addendum: in honor of bushie's second inauguration here is a great clip from jibjab. watch the one called second term. enjoy!

i have no energy

2005-01-12T23:02:00.000-05:00

i know that my blog has not been updated in quite a few days. i do have lots of ideas for new entries. but i am being lazy. i think i have the seasonal disorder, without sunlight i am so tired. everyone who talks to me thinks i am dying. no i am alive just don't want to move. i feel like i am drained of all my energy.

it was very hot today: yucky and muggy. it is almost midnight and currently the temperature is 61 degrees! in the middle of january?

i just had cake from mozart's. yummmmmmmmm.

as a consolation, i will leave you with a funny clip entitled "gay boyfriend" (especially for all you single girls out there)

p.s. i will probably be in dc this inaugural weekend, should be exciting.

my head burns, and everything is circling about me

2005-01-03T21:05:00.000-05:00

DA 34 TE MH. YRAE, February 349

No, I have no more strength to bear it! O God what are they doing to me! They pour cold water on my head! They don’t heed me, don’t see me, don’t listen to me! What have I done to them? What reason have they for torturing me? What do they want from me in my misery? What can I give them? I have nothing. I have not the strength, I cannot suffer all their tortures, my head burns, and everything is circling about me. Save me! Take me away! Give me a troika, steeds swift as the whirlwind! Drive on, man, let my bell ring out, soar upward steeds, bear me from this world! Further, further, that nothing may be seen, nothing. The sky whirls before me; a star glitters in the distance; the forest rushes on with its dark trees and the crescent moon; a violet mist carpets the ground; the string vibrates in the mist; the sea is on one side and Italy upon the other; and now the Russian huts appear. Is that my house that grows blue upon the distance? Is that my mother sitting before the window? Mother, save your wretched son! Drop a tear upon his aching head! Look how they torture him! Clasp a poor orphan to your breast! There is no place on earth for him! They are casting him off! Mother, have pity on your sick child!

(from The Diary of a Madman by Gogol)

i have wanted to write since it happened and yet every time i sat down to do so, my mind swirled and i could not. the passage from gogol came to my mind this week over and over. the picture is of arugam bay on the east coast of sri lanka. it was a wondrous sunrise after an amazing evening on the beach. the laughter of that night continuously echoes and the faces stream through my mind. this place no longer exists, swept away by the tsunami.

for days after the tsunami hit i was stunned. i could not sleep at night, i kept seeing the faces of the sri lankans with whom i had lived, worked, and traveled this summer. the small island where we went snorkeling doesn’t even exist. places that had been closed off by war till recently, like batticoloa or jaffna, have now been devastated by the waves.

i called colombo and spoke with various friends. thankfully, most of the people i knew were safe, but all of them had lost family members or friends. some of the australians i knew are still missing, now presumed dead. a grad student here lost 9 members of his family: his parents, his wife, his brother, and his young children. one of my roommates from the summer may be going back to aid with the relief effort. my relatives in orissa, india felt the aftershocks of the earthquakes. galle face road, where we used to take nightly strolls, has been destroyed as it approaches galle.

i visited a friend from sri lanka who happened to be in ohio for break. she was numb. i did not even have words to comfort her. i do not have any words of comfort.

now back at school, it seems a dream. a horrible nightmare. the beautiful places of my summer. the battered people who were rebuilding their lives after the war, now the poorest of them facing a tragedy beyond description. we are raising money through the local mosque which will be sent directly to villages in sri lanka, india, indonesia, and somalia.

also sri lankan airlines has agreed to fly medicines back for free from ny. we are collecting medications. i have a list from the colombo red cross. we are organizing trips to new york to deliver them. contact me if you can donate any medical supplies, i will send you the list of what they need.

please donate wherever you can. i know many companies have plans to match funds with their employees, take advantage of these. also there is the Red Cross, Islamic Relief, or many others.

i spoke with a friend who has been driving back and forth to the east coast of Sri Lanka with supplies. he has never seen so much death: stepping and tripping over bodies.

hum to samje the ke, barsaat me barse gi sharaab
aayi barsaat tho, barsaat ne dil tordh diya

the creative process: suspended in the void I have a long conversation with my friend silence.

2004-12-21T02:18:00.000-05:00

Nada

Soy un árbol sin sus ramas
soy un guerrero que ha fallado su misión
estoy encerrado sin salida
la tierra tiembla, desolada
sólo calles sin final ni destino
sólo el sonido de las máquinas
ni siquiera el canto de un pájaro.
Soy nada
no soy aire ni roca inmóvil
el peor de los ladrones ha robado mi sonrisa
el mar me traga
el cielo cae, me aplasta
soy una ilusión, un fantasma
conozco a lo vacío y el vacío me conoce a mí.

(Nothing

I feel like a tree, that has no branches
Like a warrior that has failed his mission.
Locked in a room with no door, no way out.
The earth like empty streets
No birds singing, only cars rushing by.
I don't even feel like the air
or a rock that never moves.
I feel like nothing
I feel like the sea will swallow me
The sky will fall upon my head
The worst of criminals has come by
And robbed my smiles
I am a ghost, an illusion.
I know nothing, and nothing knows me.)

from Soy by Ekiwah Adler Beléndez

(p.s. nagh, i am on winter break.)

quick internet fix

2004-12-18T13:58:00.000-05:00

since most of you internet junkies are on winter break and have nothing better to do than watch cartoons (the audacity!), i thought i would share some interesting links. many thanks to those who passed them on to me, thus giving me an excuse to take a break from studying. whoever made up that lie that the third year of law school is easy, needs to be shot or at least flogged.

* black bush: so what would happen if bushie junior was black? an interesting proposition, well leave it to dave chappelle to answer. i know this is a bit old, but i just saw it recently and it is still hilarious! can i say that the black tony blair rocks!

* your very own south park character: i miss natasha1313 almost as much as i miss south park. sorry, if it was you or the cable, i think you would go first. but she passed along this gem which will occupy you for quite a while.

*amar chitra katha: i loved these comics as a kid and i have a huge stack of them somewhere at my parent's house. i am not ashamed to say that much of my knowledge of hindu mythology came from hours with the mahabharata and vedas sets. i was very excited when i saw they had a website!

*cyber warfare: i thought the in-fighting between muslims was already bad, but now they have taking it to takfir hacking! recently the muslim wakeup site (a liberal/progressive bunch) was hacked by a group calling themselves the Islamic OxChallenge Brigades. they, somewhat cleverly, changed the site to "Murtad Wake Up". i didn't know that in their opinion stopping something evil includes hacking. well those guys must have been following the website closely as they have plenty of details (if they hated it so much why didn't they just stop reading?). anyway, though it was sad, i just couldn't help laughing. we are now fighting websites? please just turn off your computers.

pineapple tidbits

2004-12-15T18:23:00.000-05:00

on the homestretch now... 3 down, 2 to go.
everyone in the known universe is already on break and yet i and the rest of the crazies in law school still have exams! what was i ever thinking? more school, a good idea... NOT!

so some tidbits while i should be studying, feel free to comment:

1. "how could anyone not have a dog, or a trust fund, or grape jelly?" (rerun in 'i want a dog for christmas, charlie brown') what a classic!

2. people from the uk, canada, fiji (?), singapore, brazil, and other far and distant places are visiting my blog. cool, and i thought it was only my 4 and 1/2 friends (two of whom are named anonymous) who ever came here. if you are actually reading this and are not just an accidental ip address (well even if you are), leave me a comment.

3. speaking of fiji, azher has got me addicted to fiji water. i know bourgi water should be shunned and should i not just drink the crap of the olentangy? but really, this water is so smooth! It is described as: "FIJI Natural Artesian Bottled Water comes from a virgin ecosystem deep in the South Pacific. This natural artesian water is known for its signature soft, smooth taste and well-balanced mineral content including a high level of silica, a youth preserving anti-oxidant." Well who knows if any of that is true, but hey i could use some youth preservation! plus i like how the square bottles stack in my fridge.

4. just finished my family law exam (only have labor law and international dispute resolution to go). but while studying the ramifications of no-fault divorces, i read the funniest debates between feminists and economists. being an economist by training (well okay it was my undergrad major at Northwestern, but it sounds better that way) i was loving how the Chicago-school economists reduced marriage to a perfect cost-benefit analysis. My favorite part was the astute observation that women depreciate far faster than men, backed up by extensive equations and utility curves. Duh, you don't need a U of C phd to know that. Maybe i should pass on the economic analysis to my mom...

5. I just re-read the end of The Alchemist by Coelho. It is beautiful. I recommend it highly.

6. While making my labor law outline, I watched Mean Girls again. Very funny and i like the random references to Evanston. I miss Walker Bros. I also like how the Asian stereotypes are becoming more nuanced. You have your hot/snobby asians, nerdy/dorky asians, math geek/dj/ghetto wannabe desi- so true. You all know that one desi kid who can tear apart the calc problem and is also the dj at the disco dandia. oh and of course token girls on the math teams- that was me. well maybe not token, i was pres of math club and captain of our academic quiz team in high school. what a nerdy life- you can guess where i sat at lunch. must forget calculus, must forget.

7. people are sending me christmas cards and it is funny how they all apologize for it. they want to wish me something but don't want to offend me. hilarious, don't worry i love christmas. i can sing all of handel's messiah! bring on the cards!

8. multiculturalism can work only in an authoritarian society? so suggests former German chancellor Helmut Schmidt. The idea of a leitkultur? Was sollen wir tun? Lesen Sie bitte.

9. i went to career services as all 3Ls without jobs do with some trepidation. i am applying for LLM programs so i have an excuse. But thought i should just check out the market. i can't believe they get paid to give out this advice. i am interested in international public law, so the lady tells my i should work on my family's international connections. what? i am from cincinnati, ohio. everyone my family knows is either a doctor or engineer. my family's international connections could get me some rice from a field in india, if that. what does she think: that i can call on my drug kingpin uncle or my vast terrorist network? hmmmm, maybe.

10.
the turks are really obsessed with the evil-eye. it is on everything: shopping bags, jewlery, everything. i was at a restaurant and they have toothpicks with the evil eye on the end. anyway, i had lost my favorite evil-eye bracelet from turkey but thankfully it turned up, so nazar stay away! The evil eye is interesting because it is one of those things that almost every culture acknowledges in some form. Recently i stumbled across a book on its anthropology and folklore (The Evil Eye: The Classic Account of an Ancient Superstition). Interesting...

look out NLRA, here i come

it is very difficult to build a democracy as pupils of foreign tutors who arrived in bombers and tanks.

2004-12-07T20:00:00.000-05:00

the nytimes magazine offers an insightful look at islam, democracy, and what may lie in the future for iraq: an islamic democracy for iraq?

the article is by dutch-born ian buruma. i am not such a huge fan of his book 'occidentalism' (being a lame attempt at turning said's orientalism around), but i did enjoy some of his guardian columns a few year's back. he was a fellow at the woodrow wilson institute in dc. regardless, his piece in the nytimes seems to support what i have thought all along. the more a nation suppresses religion (here islam) the more people turn to it and usually the extremist strain. buruma offers up examples of indonesia, iran, turkey, and the rest of the usual suspects. but i agree that if one allows islamic parties to coexist in a democracy usually they have to listen to the people and in turn moderate themselves. by making religion forbidden, in times of tyranny and exasperation, people turn to more extreme forms. let the islamists, the sufis, the wahabis, the secularists all vie for the people's vote! usually the result after some time is some form of moderate and culturally appropriate politics. but by banning religion, govts give the extremists the lure of fighting some sort of holy crusade against secularism. anyway read it, interesting thoughts on iraq.

other thoughts:
(1) should i give up on hotmail? everyone keeps pushing gmail on me, but since i use outlook for both my hotmail and school accounts- it didn't really matter to me. plus recently hotmail increased my storage space tremendously. however, hotmail has recently been down and not available more than it has worked. is it worth all the changes to leave hotmail? thoughts?
(2) during break i have a list of things i want to read: the new boston review issue, the latest le monde articles, roald dahl's omnibus of short stories, moor's last sigh (again), germs/guns/& steel, eats/shoots/& leaves, imam al-haddad's treatises on mutual reminding and good manners and the other non-law books in my growing pile! or maybe i will just sleep the entire break.
(3)for ppl in c-bus: does anyone really pay for wi-fi at barnes and noble? especially when you can walk two doors down to cup-of-joe for free wi-fi and better coffee (read not starbucks!)
(4) 'i am not a prophet' aka the dylan interview on 60 minutes. hmmmm, lots to say, but just one thing: bob, where can i get what you are on? oh and one more thing: "Dylan has been nominated this year for the Nobel Prize in literature for his songwriting." okay i know bob dylan is great, but the nobel prize?
(5) aerosmith has been around for some 30 years and yet i think their best song was 'dream on' way back in 1973. not a huge aerosmith fan, but steven tyler did something right when he wrote that song.
(6) why am i not studying and writing this instead?

drowning in school

2004-12-03T17:12:00.000-05:00

yes it is approaching that time of year, you can smell it in the air, it's on everyone's mind- no not the holidays, no nothing cheery about this- it's finals.

thus i have been incommunicado for quite some time. drowning in work, here i am on a friday evening in the library. can we say sad?

i have not much to say unless you would like to hear about the Chevron doctrine on strong deference to administrative agencies, or complex sales contracts under the cisg, or mandatory arbitral tribunals under UNCLOS (they are cool, held in a wave shaped building in hamburg!), or the NLRA's newest take on secondary strikes. yes, i have a feeling that none of you would like to know about this stuff.

some tidbits which have managed to seep into my cave of studying...

(1) the us ambassador to the un (danforth) resigned. he was a strong proponent for darfur and a minister to boot.
(2) i chaired a simulation for a negotiation surrounding a un comprensive treaty on the environment, and let me just say that it is stressful. nations like to quibble and keeping them all civil and on track was a bit trying. but i like using a gavel!;)
(3)ice cream is a cure-all! since it is a stressful time and i have two female roommates, let's just say at this moment our freezer is chock-full of ben & jerry's
(4) over thanksgiving, i attended an engagement party, a bridal shower, and a couple other fancy-schmancy parties- i am tired of heels and small talk. (little did i know that everyone i knew in high school would now be driving an suv, living in the burbs, and taking the little ones to play group- aargh).

songs to listen to while i am studying:
wayfaring stranger- jack white
mere humnafas mere humnava- begum akhtar (written by shakeel badayuni, but sung best by begum akhtar)
silent sigh- badly drawn boy
island in the sun- weezer
the other side- david gray
lola- the kinks
last train to clarksville- the monkees
ghalla gurian- panjabi mc
all of ella fitzgerald's best of ken burns jazz cd
shams-ud-doha badr-ud-doja - nusrat fateh ali khan
another one bites the dust- queen
J'Veux d' la Musique- Les Nubians
one- aimee mann

wayfaring stranger

2004-11-26T13:06:00.000-05:00

I am a poor wayfaring stranger
Travelling through this world alone
There is no sickness, toil or danger
In that fair land to which I go

I'm going home
To see my mother
I'm going home
No more to roam
I am just going over Jordan
I am just going over home

I know dark clouds will hover on me,
I know my pathway is rough and steep
Beauteous fields lie right before me
Where weary eyes no more will weep

I'm going home to see my father
I'm going home no more to roam
I am just going over Jordan
I am just going over home

I'll soon be free from every trial
This form will rest beneath the sun
I'll drop the cross of self-denial
Come back home with God

I'm going home to see my savior
I'm going home no more to roam
I am just going over Jordan
I am just going over home

(this folk song has been passed down in the Appalachians for generations. originally, its roots are probably from an old Irish tune. though many versions exist, a recent rendition by Jack White is simply heartbreaking.)
*hope you all have recovered from your tryptophan induced slumber, though it is a naturally occurring amino acid- a sedative nonetheless

fallujah

2004-11-22T11:51:00.000-05:00

please take the time to read riverbend's entries about fallujah and eid in iraq. she is a young iraqi who blogs at baghdad burning.

update: the frontline on walmart is online in its entirety.

rated pg-13 for intense situations of peril

2004-11-17T01:23:00.000-05:00

hilarious, have you ever heard a dumber rating. okay i watched 'the day after tomorrow' and yes it is a pretty dumb movie. but there are some funny parts, okay maybe only funny to me.

my fave line: the black kid is fixing the radio and someone offers help and he says i am the president of the electronics club, the math club, and the chess club. can you find anyone nerdier than me in this room? (i don't know i loved that line- i was the president of the math club)

okay and the americans illegally crossing into mexico, and the mexicans closing their border, and then all of latin america forcing the us to forgive their debt in order to allow refugees. i love the premise that the western world has to flee to the third world because they have heat!

ok don't watch the movie unless you are bored. but late at night it was kinda funny.

as for the premise of kyoto and global warming, we have been discussing arbitrations aimed at western countries that refuse to sign onto kyoto in international dispute resolution. an interesting idea, but i have little faith that it would work.

but really as for intense situations of peril- there are many all around us
read street's article on global warming and how in the shadow of so much social injustice many of us have forgotten that we are choking the earth as well.
also margaret hassan is presumed dead, it boggles the mind, even al-zarqawi called for her release. fisk's analysis of the situation is worth reading.
lastly, if you get a chance watch frontline's special on walmart, probably on your pbs station this week. with the new kmart-sears merger, the dynamics in this market are going to be worth following. additionally, with the mfa expiring in 2005, walmart is going to continue to push for cheaper textiles, not to mention using medicaid as their health plan. some folks in my labor law class go around handing out union cards in local walmarts just for kicks. ;)

shirin ebadi

2004-11-16T14:35:00.000-05:00

did i ever mention that i love shirin ebadi. she is the woman, a role model, and of course the winner of the 2003 nobel peace prize. she doesn't let opposition stop her, when iranian clerics decided she could no longer be a judge (because women were too emotional) she continued to defend human rights as a private attorney. now that the us govt will not let her publish her memoirs, she (not an american) is suing to uphold the first amendment. now if only all of us could have so much passion for our civil liberties and human rights. read her op-ed in today's nytimes.

an excerpt:
For many years now, I have wanted to write my memoir - a book that would help correct Western stereotypes of Islam, especially the image of Muslim women as docile, forlorn creatures. Sixty-three percent of Iran's university students and 43 percent of its salaried workers are women. I have wanted to tell the story of how women in Islamic countries, even one run by a theocratic regime as in Iran, can be active politically and professionally.
and another:
If even people like me - those who advocate peace and dialogue - are denied the right to publish their books in the United States with the assistance of Americans, then people will seriously question the view of the United States as a country that advocates democracy and freedom everywhere. What is the difference between the censorship in Iran and this censorship in the United States? Is it not better to encourage a dialogue between Iranians and the American public?

(sidenotes: drink lots of water- there are very bad consequences for not doing so, believe me i found out and it was painful/ my mendhi is at the weird stage where it is starting to look funny/ carpal tunnel sucks/ school work is inundating me and thus i am wasting my time/ read the alchemist/ watch bridget jones diary, i heard the second one is terrible but don't worry i will find out for myself and report back!)

shah-e-madina

2004-11-15T22:03:00.000-05:00

yathrib ke waali, saare nabi tere dar ke sawali
shah-e-madina
jalwein hain saare tere hi daam se, aabad aalam tere karam se
baaqi har ek shai, naqshe khyali, saare nabi tere dar ke sawali
shah-e-madina
tere liya hi duniya banihe, neele falaq qi chaadar tanihe
tu agar na hota, duniya thi khaali, saare nabi tere dar ke sawali
shah-e-madina
tu ne jahaan ki mehfil saajaee, tareekheeoun me shamma jalaeen
har simt chahee thee raat kaali, saare nabi tere dar ke sawali
shah-e-madina
qadmoun me tere arsh barri hai, tujsa jahaan me koween nahin hai
kandhe pe phirbhi kamli hai kaali, saare nabi tere dar ke sawali
shah-e-madina
madhab hai tera sub khi bhalayi, maslak hai tera mushkil kushayee
dekh apni ummat ki khasta haali, saare nabi tere dar ke sawali
shah-e-madina
hai noor tera shams o qamar me, tera laboun ki lalli sehar me
phooloun ne teri khusboo churaleen, saare nabi tere dar ke sawali
shah-e-madina

eid mubarak!

so what's up with yasser?

2004-11-12T14:24:00.000-05:00

inna lillahi wa inna ilahi raji'un
okay i am not being flippant, the death of arafat is (or is perceived) to be a turning point in the history of the palestinian struggle. but this conversation a few nights ago needs to be heard...

suzan: so lina, what's up with yasser?
(lina's mom's face turns white and her eyes go all wide, lina looks embarrassed, and the rest of us are wondering: who is yasser and why don't we know about this lina?)
me: arafat, you mean?
suzan: yes, yes of course.

so this post needs a shout out to the awesome lina, who can cook like no other, and fed us such an iftar that it will be remembered for ages to come. you bring honor to the palestinian people with your epicurean feats.

but yes as for arafat:
read his obituary in the ny times,
also Prof. Mark Levine (of UC Irvine) has an interesting piece on Arafat debunking this myth of new beginnings,
and i will leave you with an excerpt from the Fisk article, which i mentioned earlier:
The Arafat mug was never going to find its way on to university walls like Guevara or even Castro. There was -- and still is -- a kind of seediness about it and maybe that's what the Israelis saw too, a man who could be relied on to police his people in their little Bantustans, another proxy to run the show when occupation became too tiresome. "Can Arafat control his own people?" That's what the Israelis asked and the world obligingly asked the same question without realising the truth: that this was precisely why Arafat had been allowed back to the Occupied Territories -- to "control" his people. The only time he did stand up to his Israeli-American masters -- when he refused to accept 64 per cent of the 22 per cent of Palestine that was left to him -- he returned in triumph to Gaza and allowed the Israelis to claim he was offered 95 per cent but chose war.

off to put on mehndi and eat sweets and freeze in my shalwar kameez at 7 am eid prayers...

stupid post

2004-11-09T09:40:00.000-05:00

you asked for it, you are gonna get it (this blog strives to grant all requests as long as i receive a check in the mail). you asked for stupid, dumb, orange boxer shorts: well bushie epitomizes it all. stupid is as stupid does...

"Down in Florida in the early voting, there were computer glitches, confusing ballots, long lines and chaos. And when President Bush heard about this, he said, 'Mission accomplished!'"
-David Letterman

"Bush bragged that more Iraqis say their country is on the right track than Americans say our country is on the right track. Boy, there’s a campaign slogan for you — 'America: More F*cked Up Than Fallujah!'" —Bill Maher

"President Bush is not fazed by other candidates' war records. He said, I may have not fought in Vietnam, but I created one." —Craig Kilborn

"Last night, in a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have." —Conan O'Brien

"According to the latest poll in the Washington Post, 63 percent of Americans said that so far they approve of President Bush. Not surprisingly, the other 37 percent are English teachers."
-Conan O'Brien

"President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which."
-Dennis Miller

"Bush advisers have long been worried that a lagging economy could hamper the president's re-election chances. They hope that the Cabinet shake-up will provide a needed jolt. If that doesn't work, North Korea has to go." —Jon Stewart

"Bush the younger has two things going for him that his father never had. One: an easy charm with regular people and two: the power to make them disappear without a trial." —Bill Maher

"Did you see President Bush land on the aircraft carrier? President Bush told reporters on the carrier after he landed that the pilot actually let him fly the plane for a little bit. In a related story, Dick Cheney said that he once let President Bush run the country for a few minutes."
-Conan O'Brien

solace, connection, re-evaluation

2004-11-07T03:49:00.000-05:00

the air grows colder and the last of the leaves grow damp on the ground. somehow every year around this time the days seem to speed up, time flies, and people are accelerating on an invisible path to the new year. it is the last ten days of ramadan, a time to reflect and search for that solace for which our souls are yearning. eid will be soon upon us, then turkey day will fly by, soon i will avoid malls for the crowds of christmas (don't worry i will hum carols and bake cookies). what have i done in this, my 25th year on this earth? a lot of things to think about and little time to do so. trying to lose myself in the inundation that is law school reading.

all of us seem to be in search of something. recently reading some utterances of shaykh abd al-qadir al-jilani, the great 11th century sufi saint of baghdad. from his ode of connection (qasidat al-wasila)

nazarta bi- 'aini 'l-fikri fi hani hadrati
habiban tajalla li'lqulubi fa-hannati

i saw with the eye of contemplation,
in the tavern of my presence
a Friend who revealed Himself to the hearts,
so they were filled with yearning.

*sidenote: it is not just the elections, but life in general which seems to need re-evaluation, not just now but always. but yes i, too, have been reading a lot of post-election articles. some of note or interest:
1. the optimism of uncertainty: howard zinn
2. open letter to the democratic party: how you could have had my vote
3. why they won: thomas frank
and things go on after the election, things still matter, so read on...
4. arafat died years ago: robert fisk
5. tide? or ivory snow? public power in the age of empire: arundhati roy
6. the war on iraq has made moral cowards of us all: scott ritter
7. fallujah and the reality of war: rahul mahajan (lest we forget that as the election clouds our vision, we are funding a routing of fallujah, the city of 1000 mosques. in the middle of ramadan, most inhabitants are fleeing their homes in fear of smart bombs to form shanty towns on the outskirts. of course any man between 15-60 is not allowed out in fear that he may be militant and of course most hospitals are being closed- both violations of the geneva conventions- but who needs those anyway?)

*suggestion: listen to ustad amjad ali khan on sarod: raag kausi kanada

please pass the duct-tape

2004-11-03T20:06:00.000-05:00

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry" (A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway)

i can't express today. as i sit in ohio, i will use other people's words (if you said these things to me, thank you. please excuse me for sharing your words, but you all really helped me through today.)

"I walked out this morning and the sun was shining. I felt better. The wind was clear and crisp. I felt better. I cried all night - big searing, gulping sobs - I cried in my sleep. Ever have those dreams where you want to wake yourself up by screaming? I tried last night but never succeeded. I mourned like a loved one had died. There is an idea of America constructed in my head, built by my associations with the land, the people, the cities. It died last night. A new America was born last night. An imperial America, a theocratic America, an America built by fear and loathing. This great nation that can destroy anyone cowers from shadows. It fears the gay man who will destroy its families. It fears the slut teen who will kill her unborn child. It fears the brown man who will detonate a bomb in the mall. It fears the secular intellectual who will corrupt the youth." (Sepoy)

"(the) apathetic american population (inlcuding democrats) will all get over this, and everything will go back to business as usual, as long as i can have my starbucks in the morning and lunch at the drive thru at Mcdonalds in my SUV (hummer) and bomb a couple of countries when i feel snippish. ah, the american dream." (my sister)

"Sorry to have to put it this way, but WHAT ARE PEOPLE THINKING?!" (from abroad)

"I am slowly realizing that my country has gone to the religious right - the same phenomenon that masks political agendas and drives hatred all over the world and ultimately justifies systematic killings of civilians in the Middle East... Our president, who believes the laws of the US are derived from Gd, has clearly stated that he acts in order to fulfill Gd's will - not the will of the people of California, or New York, or DC, or anywhere else that sits as a terrorist target, not the poor people without health care, not the paraplegics who could benefit from stem cell research, not my neighbors who are gay, not Muslim-Americans, not school children in poor neighborhoods, not the people who want peace, not people who call for universal human rights" (a friend)

"Next semester's classes at the law school will now be: the history of civil liberties, the history of labor law (as both of these cease to exist), how to get canadian citizenship, jd's working at starbucks, how to speak canadian, election intimidation and the art of dis-enfranchisement, deportation as a vacation from life." (people trying to make me laugh at school)

"What gets me isn't that Bush won the election. It really isn't. It's the strong margin of victory. It's the fact that Republicans increased their House majority 2 seats. That Daschle was ejected. That the very blatantly racist Tom Coburn won in Oklahoma. That Gov. Knowles lost to someone appointed by her Dad in Alaska. That the most extreme wing of the Republican Party led it to a 55 seat majority" (Faraz)

"Ralph Nader- is now the equivalent of a swear word. If you are mad, just say it: RALPH NADER!" (sad friends as we watched the poll results come in)

"It was my pleasure." (a 70 year old black woman, in response to our congratulations, after she waited more than 7 hours to vote)

"Take time to feel the desolation and disappointment. But I remain confident that time is not on the side of the kind of values and politics that President Bush represents. It took conservatives two decades to build up the institutional muscle they have today. Though I was always nervous about the result, I thought we could win this election. But it was always naive to believe that that sort of institutional heft could be put together in 24 or 36 months" (Marshall)

"People now will not tolerate the United States behaving like the British and the French conquering countries and creating new colonies. The people of the Third World did not fight for independence for 200 years against the British and the French and the Dutch and the Belgians and every other little European country that thought it had the military and economic power to push brown and black and yellow people around because they had something that they wanted. Well, that period of history is past! The Vietnamese should have taught everybody this. You do not go and take over somebody elses country."
"There are two ways for George Bush and Washington to learn this lesson. One will be a slaughter in Iraq and then decades of violence, where there will be people who will step off the sidewalk when they see an American, because they are so afraid. Or Americans will realize this is not the world that they want. It is a choice between wars of conquest, wars of colonization, things of the past, or the future based on a common, shared respect for everyone."
Can it really be that Americans have decided that this is the world they want?" (Podur quoting zia mian)

"I almost feel that smart people should go on strike for four years just in a kind of "Atlas Shrugged" way, except with the opposite politics. If you are a thinking person it's becoming impossible to go along with this program. And if he wins it's not even left vs. right, or red vs. blue anymore. It's thinking vs. not thinking, and the thinking people should go on strike." (Prof John-Paul Spiro)

"It's just a matter of time people. I truly believe that. We'll take our country back. Because this is the important stuff. We have all been brought together by this experience, and we WILL NOT forget again. They are counting on us forgetting, going back to sleep, resume complacency, nibble the grass like good little sheep. Ha. We are like insurgents ourselves: the more you beat us down the stronger we will get. Do the kids say "booyah" anymore?" (SCB)

"But we (meaning intelligent, fair-minded, civilized, mostly good-looking liberals) got f*ed by a bunch of Bible-thumping, gun-toting, gay-hating rednecks. And not just in the presidential election, but in a majority of elections. There are two Americas that are fundamentally opposed to each other. This is at the same time infuriating and terrifying. - So...I'm moving out of the country. Three questions: who's coming with me, where are we going, and what are we going to wear?" (Mulgrew)

"I think I will give everyone I know a lot of duct tape to try to hold their skulls together so when Bush talks their brains don't shoot out of the back of their heads." (Internebbish)

Please someone pass me the duct-tape.

nov 2: triumph of politics and populist anti-intellectualism over policy? you decide.

2004-11-02T13:00:00.000-05:00

"In Broward County, Fla., this morning, a group of men set up a canopy under a tree in a parking lot outside a voter precinct in a union building, enticing voters with an unlikely breakfast of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, sodas, toast and jam. Many ate while in line and listened to loud blues music." (ny times)

mmmm. fried chicken sounds pretty good right about now. what an election day, the air is electric.

1. i drove to cincinnati to vote (wasn't going to chance absentee ballots), was at the polls at 6:25 am (right after suhoor). the line was already out the door and down the street. thankfully it only took 30 mins. checked for hanging chads and other such abnormalities, hopefully they will count my vote.

2. the lines are really, really long. a lot of people at school reported waits of more than 2 hours. for people who have to go to work or risk being fired, this is impossible! another way to dis-enfranchise the working class. (plus it is raining, a lot of soggy, unhappy people in line)

3. an estimated 15 million people have newly registered. however, skepticism about voter fraud is at its highest levels, ever!

4. at about 3 am, the 6th circuit court of appeals overturned the dist court, to allow republican challengers at polls. find out more about this and other election law at osu's special page.

5. thank you to all the people who called and emailed me this morning to remind me that i live in ohio and i should vote. thanks- i know and i remembered. (i even got international reminders- from my cousin in saudi to friends in the uk, everyone really cares about ohio, go figure)

6. i have this queasy feeling that bush is going to win. but jimmy breslin (of newsday) begs to differ. he forecasts a landslide by kerry, pretty funny. oh and even hunter s. thompson (yes of rum diaries)forecasts a win, or in his words:"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. We will march on a road of bones. Mahalo." or you can say bush is going to win and then plan for the future (or lack thereof).

7. i am monitoring tonight. hopefully we will know results tonight. well i can hope can't i? oh post your own election day story, i want to know how it went other places.

marianne moore

2004-11-01T10:44:00.000-05:00

M in a vicious world-to love virtue
A in a craven world-to have courage
R in a treacherous world-to prove loyal
I in a wavering world-to stand firm

A in a cruel world-to show mercy
N in a biased world-to act justly
N in a shameless world-to live nobly
E in a hateful world-to forgive

M in a venal world-to be honest
O in a heartless world-to be human
O in a killing world-to create
R in a sick world-to be whole

E in an epoch of UNself-to be ONEself

-e.e. cummings

(pulitzer-prize winning poet, author, critic: marianne moore. she was a friend to many of the 20th century's greatest: t.s. eliot, ezra pound, e.e. cummings, and allen ginsberg)
(E. E. Cummings, who was born in 1894 and died in 1962, wrote many
poems with unconventional punctuation and capitalization, and unusual line, word, and even letter placements. he was most famous for his ideograms- noted as an extremely terse form of prose that combines both visual and auditory elements. contrary to popular belief, he did capitalize his name at times, but i am still a fan of his "lower-cased eye".)

hilarious

2004-11-01T01:10:00.000-05:00

okay, busy with last minute election stuff, canvassing, etc. please go out there and vote. but since most of you are sick of hearing about the election, here is a hilarious bit off conan o'brien. okay so maybe it's a few weeks old, but it is still funny. i can't believe they sent him all the way to hyderabad! (woo hoo you get to see char minar).

note: you need winamp to play the clip.

getting ready for the aftermath

2004-10-30T16:51:00.000-04:00

haphazard notions

2004-10-29T01:04:00.000-04:00

what a long day. i have been in a bad mood most of the day and little things have gotten on my nerves. that is not normal for me and i really hate when i get this way. sorry to the people i may have snapped at today, my bad.

but i do have fun and exciting tidbits to share:

1. went to the kerry rally tonight. saw bruce springsteen (can we say BRUCE!). the atmosphere was so electric- thousands of people, i felt the tension in the air, five more days. kerry tried hard to be folksy and used a buckeye gimmick to 'connect' with people. but hey, he isn't bush. ok funny line from kerry, when the crowd was chanting 'out-source bush', he replied "sure we can out-source him, but what can he do for anyone?". true, so true. (sidenote: there were these idiot bush supporter frat boys, hanging around the perimeter, taunting everyone. on the way out the good old kerry fans gave them a good beating, what can you say- it is ohio state! go bucks!)

2. watch the new eminem video: mosh. very anti-bush, quite well done, and even supported by moby! really watch it, and read the lyrics. eminem, who would have known?

3. must mention the red sox- wow what a sweep! the curse is gone, no more complaining from any new englanders. the curse of the bambino has been lifted, at least that is what they found at his grave. boston fans are quite rabid, but i must say they well deserved it. i am surprised the rowdiness was kept to a minimum. now if only the cubs could win!

4. if you want to help in the campaign, please do go to moveon pac. they are doing awesome work. if you are in columbus, for the volunteers, there is a great rally with michael moore and the googoo dolls this saturday!

5. something fun: moviemaker. this thing is wicked cool. yes i used wicked (it reminded me of natasha1313). use it, make movies, i challenge you. come up with something funny and send it back to me! hours of entertainment!

that's it for now. must get to bed, but please remember to vote (and brush your teeth).

afterthought: my roommate made banana pancakes for suhoor! mmmmmmmm.

the choice

2004-10-26T17:25:00.000-04:00

i am fairly sure that few, if any, readers of the new yorker are voting for bush. but the editors just published a nice and concise summary of the failings of the bush administration. read it and you will get a good sense of how so many disparate people are anti-bush (from gay rights folks, pro-environment activists, mothers of soldiers, to anti-war people, immigrants, the poor, to anybody with a conscience). i am not always a fan of the new yorker's foreign policy angles, but this article is worth a read.

as the observation of one erudite writer in this here blogosphere said: Read this. It'll make you smarter and angrier, and there is nothing more dangerous than smart, angry people.

oh one excerpt: "Bush has said more than once that Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas are his favorite justices. In a second Bush term, the Court could be remade in their images." now do you really want to read more opinions from scalia/thomas types, come on just vote for kerry to give law students a break. (a more than realistic fear with rehnquist suffering from cancer)

gonna see kerry and springsteen right here on campus this thursday! can we hear it for The Boss!

sidenote: Go Red Sox. they deserve to win, 2-0, with the third game in the series tonight. Curse of the Bambino be damned.

i am

2004-10-24T15:14:00.000-04:00

i am- yet what i am, none cares or knows;
my friends forsake me like a memory lost;
i am the self-consumer of my woes-
they rise and vanish in oblivious host,
like shadows in love frenzied stifled throes
and yet i am, and live-like vapours tossed

into the nothingness of scorn and noise
into the living sea of waking dreams-
where there is neither sense of life or joy,
but the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems;
even the dearest that i love the best
are strange- nay rather stranger than the rest

i long for scenes where man hath never trod
a place where woman never smiled or wept
there to abide with my creator God
and sleep as i in my childhood sweetly slept
untroubling and untroubled where i lie
the grass below, above the vaulted sky.

-john clare

(british poet, clare (1793-1864), is best known for the amazing poems he wrote while in a mental asylum)

(this poem was one of my favorites in high school, when i think it expressed the angst of that age. later in college, this poem resurfaced when i had to interpret it in a one-woman act in a theater class (yeah don't ask). i just looked at it again today, thought i would share)

(if you are reading any of this- hating it, liking it, being bored by it- leave me a comment!)

modern but modest

2004-10-21T23:01:00.000-04:00

a friend has started a clothing line of women's clothing with a tagline of modern but modest. she designs them all herself and they are locally tailored. the styles are clean and modern; the quality is quite good. visit her clothing line, haya clothing.

Hali

2004-10-21T16:56:00.000-04:00

Sometimes Turanis looted homes
At others Duranis stole the wealth
Sometimes Nadar slaughtered the people
At others Mahmud made them slaves
Finally the game was won
By a refined nation of the west.

i have been accused of being an India-phile. whatever that means is a mystery, but sure i do have a passion for much of the culture and history of india. though i have never lived there for any extended time, i seem to have developed a relationship with this land of my ancestry. my last visit this summer was quite brief, but just rekindled my interests. be it the poetry, classical music, literature, food, or history- something sparks my fancy. anyway the issues of nationalism, identity, and immigrant/minority complexes will have to be the topic of a separate entry. when i have more time i will write about it; some things i learned from living in sri lanka definitely had me re-examining these issues.

the above poem is by one of the masters of Urdu poetry: Hali. also there is a translation- though much of it's power is lost in english; if you want a transliteration, just ask. something about this poem always speaks to me, i enjoy the language a great deal. additionally, his ability to take such complex history and distill it into a few simple lines of poetry is amazing. looking at it as a 'baazi' (game) that was won by a 'shaista quawm' (refined nation) is remarkable- he expressed more of international law in that one stanza than my whole casebook can. thanks to lala2000 for introducing me to the poem (though she currently hates everything to do with india).

Altaf Hussain Hali (1837-1914) is the actual innovator of the modern spirit in Urdu poetry. Hali's works include Diwan-e-Hali, Madd-o-Jazr-e-Islam or Musaddas-e-Hali (1879), Shakwa-e-Hind (1887), Munajat-e-Beva (1886) and Chup ki Dad (1905). Hali expanded the art of writing biographies with a critical approach in his biographies Hayat-e-Sadi and Hayat-e-Jaweed. Hali was the pioneer of modern criticism. His Muqaddama-e-Sher-o-Shaeri is the foundation stone of Urdu criticism. Khwaja Altaf Husain Hali was born in 1837 in Panipat. He was a student of Mirza Ghalib. He died on September 30th, 1914 in Panipat.

another hit for you internet junkies

2004-10-20T10:28:00.000-04:00

are you bored?
sitting in front of a computer screen?
feel like you have surfed the entire web?
okay here you go: three more fun, fun links

1. Sarah McLachlan: i have always loved her, well here is another reason to love her. check out her new video: world on fire very interesting. (this one is not addictive, per se)

2. blue grappa: oh my, this site will have you addicted. it looks fairly innocuous but in reality you will be hooked for hours. draw pretty, pretty pictures. perfect for surfing while on the phone for a long time.

3. crimson room: you are trapped in a room and must get out. just try, you'll never stop.

warning: you will be sucked in (don't say i didn't warn you)

much appreciation to the various folks who pointed me to these sites, you will be getting my therapist's bill in the mail

i keep wondering

2004-10-19T22:30:00.000-04:00

i saw a mountain
And he was like a wotan looking at himself in the water
i saw a cockatoo
And he was like sweet clouds
even leaves and little stones
are different to my eyes sometimes
i keep wondering through and through my heart
where all the beautiful things in the world
come from
And while i wonder
they go on being beautiful

by Hilda Conkling

jon stewart on crossfire

2004-10-19T13:19:00.000-04:00

i don't know if many people saw this on cnn, but it is hilarious. watch jon stewart (of daily show fame) totally rip on crossfire and tucker carlson for their lack of journalistic ethics. only stewart could do it so well. thanks to my bro for the link.

UPDATE: yeah the ny times had a great article applauding stewart's honesty on cnn. kudos to him.
UPDATE 2: oh you can also see the responses on monday both from the daily show and crossfire.

election monitoring

2004-10-18T11:28:00.000-04:00

opportunity! for those in ohio you too can help monitor the elections!

The Coalition on Homelessness and Housing in Ohio (COHHIO) has identified 40 of the poorest precincts in Ohio for their election protection efforts. As part of COHHIO's efforts, they will staff each of our precincts with two poll monitors for the entire time the polls are open. Poll monitors will be watching for voting rights violations taking place on Election Day. Each poll worker will be asked to work a five hour shift (6:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m., 11:30-4:30 and 4:30 to 7:30 or until the last voter votes at that precinct). Find out more at the COHHIO website.

Get involved, I did some international election monitoring in sri lanka and it was cool. but we need monitors right here in ohio.

because according to the columbus dispatch, heavily black precincts had uncounted votes about 3 times higher than other precincts, mostly due to punch cards. about 70% of ohio voters will be getting punch cards on nov. 2. that is the most for any swing state, and second to only utah.

get out there and help the vote be a fair one!

eu's inside track

2004-10-18T10:43:00.000-04:00

hmmm, i am currently sitting in administrative law. today we have a guest speaker, Professor Hubert Bocken (his bio). Bocken was the former dean of the law faculty of the University of Ghent in Belgium. His lecture is a discussion of the institutional, legislative, and judicial framework of the European Union.

so why should you care? well from an insider's opinion, he thinks that the nod towards turkey is pretty much an okay. in his opinion turkey will get into the eu one way or another, sooner or later. he mentioned that istanbul is one of the oldest european cities, the problem is the anatolian part of turkey. interesting...

note: i am thinking of applying for the llm at soas in london. what do you think?
weird: this is the second class today where the treaty of maastricht of 1992 has come up: bonus points if you knew that it was the treaty that changed the european economic commission into the european union

evening news

2004-10-17T06:53:00.000-04:00

we have been there
and seen nothing
nothing has been there
for us to see
in what a beautiful silence
the death is inflicted
in a dazzling distance
in the fresh dews
and morning lights
how radiantly
in the glistening
the village is wasted
it is by such sights
the eye is instructed.

-by david ferry

(this poem was inscribed in the front of a book by hunter s. thompson, presented to me by a friend, she lives in virginia and collects owl pellets with the aid of global positioning systems)
(my suhoor this morning: toast, a bottle of water, two advil)

frontline online

2004-10-16T10:24:00.000-04:00

have i ever mentioned that i truly enjoy pbs, and especially frontline. i think it is one of the few news magazine programs left on tv that is honest and intelligent. anyway, i have recently found (from the blog recommendation of a friend) that many of the frontline shows are online in their entirety. so if you have missed them, please check it out.

make sure to check out the latest one: the choice 2004. a great piece that explores in detail the lives of bush and kerry. in some ways it made me appreciate the kerry of the 70s and 80s a great deal. it definitely shows how similar their backgrounds are. also it shows the sharp contrast of bush as a frat boy, friendly, every-person type of guy whereas kerry is a thinker, intellectual, reserved, driven sort of man. i can see how each type resonates with a very different america. i personally like kerry as depicted in the show, but the average small town american may find this elitist and marginalizing. though bush comes from the same rich white boy club, somehow he is far more endearing to the common man. this is why we keep seeing kerry trying so hard to prove that he is every-man, with him hunting, wearing field coats, and having coal on his face. anyway check out the documentary, it is worth you time.

note: i have put up some new links and blogs for you all to check out. enjoy.
check out: a cool kid from columbus, charles mars, has made a great video called 'baghdad's nightmare'

the arrival of ramadan

2004-10-15T01:20:00.000-04:00

May you all be blessed and protected during this sacred month. Ramadan Mubarak!

p.s. you can see some pretty hilarious ramadan e-cards at eidmubarak.com (my fave are the bush ones)

check it out, ruminate over it, argue, discuss, and get back to me

2004-10-14T13:38:00.000-04:00

Okay some things to check out...

1. "Time Out of Joint"- a new article in the Boston Review by Sadik J. Al-Azm. he discusses western dominance, islamist terror, and the arab imagination. a very interesting article, i agree with a lot of his perspectives, but not sure how far i would go with his theory. he argues that muslims/arabs have a shared pathology of depression that causes them to ignore the realities of modernity. this theory goes a long way in explaining the 'head in the sand' mentality of so many people. it is long, but worth reading.

an interesting excerpt:
A cultural form of schizophrenia is also attendant on the Arab (and Muslim) world’s tortured, protracted and reluctant adaptation to European modernity. This process has truly made the modern Arabs into the Hamlet of our times, doomed to unrelieved tragedy, forever hesitating, procrastinating, and wavering between the old and the new, between asala and mu’asara (authenticity and contemporaneity), between turath and tajdid (heritage and renewal), between huwiyya and hadatha (identity and modernity), and between religion and secularity, while the conquering Fortinbrases of the world inherit the new century. No wonder, then, to quote Shakespeare’s most famous drama, that “the time is out of joint” for the Arabs and “something is rotten in the state.” No wonder as well if they keep wondering whether they are the authors of their woes or whether “there’s a divinity that shapes [their] ends.”

and another:
The contemporary Muslim or Arab is so sad and vexed in Amin’s account because his cherished convictions about his civilization, religion, and providence, and their role in modern history are all given the lie by hard realities every waking minute of his life. Furthermore, the radical transformations and sacrifices required to transcend this contradiction are either undesirable or unbearable. So what else can the Muslim or Arab do but muddle through his sad perplexity in the 21st century with the conviction that perhaps one day God or history or fate or the revolution or the moral order of the universe will raise his umma to its proper role once again. Under these circumstances, various kinds of direct-action violence (including terrorism in some of its most spectacular forms) present themselves as the only means of relief from this hopeless impasse.

2. shaykh hamza's comments at this year's isna convention- i know there was a lot of hullaballo about the whole version not being on the isna website, but they are available (unedited) at the zaytuna site. his message is to humanity, and just listened to it this morning. i realized it is so relevant and needed at this moment. plus he says anybody but bush. it is a great reminder, listen if you get a chance.

3. daniel pipes, okay disclaimer i don't like him and i don't agree with him. but he has this test that is developed to judge who is a moderate muslim. okay the test is ridiculous, but it is interesting some of the question he poses. plus even if you agree with the questions (i.e. accept diversity within islam, are against all violence, etc.) in pipes' book you are evil if you are muslim.

4. cinnamon girl- the new song by prince. this is getting a lot of attention, it has a powerful video however, i think his message is better understood from the lyrics. what do you think of the song? i have always liked prince (who can not love raspberry beret), and his thoughts on the atmosphere for a muslim girl are thought provoking.

i think that is enough to keep you all busy for a while...

aaah technology

2004-10-13T21:49:00.000-04:00

ha ha, i am watching the presidential debates while trying to get some work done on my laptop. with the marvel of the internet and the wireless web, i can sit here in my comfy chair, surf the web, and watch the two crazies debate away. to be honest, i don't like kerry- but i guess i am in the 'anyone but bush' party.

oh, so cnn has some people doing real time blogging while the debate is going on, one from the left, one from the right, and one just being funny. it's great- on the internet people are fighting, discussing, making fun of, etc. the debates as it is going on. (oh now an immigration question for bushie- temp border cards? shadows of our society? i love his one liners and how he laughs at his own jokes). the wonders of technology: if it can increase discussion and communication is pretty cool. so maybe i would like wireless web to cover the world, aaah but i can just imagine the orwellian consequences of something like that! ;) (oh now kerry on immigration- 'we have people from the MIDDLE EAST, allegedly, coming across the border' be afraid, be very afraid)

haha funny excerpts from the cnn comedy blog:
There's already a big problem - they're both wearing red ties. I've got two rich white guys with red ties and gray hair onstage.
Will I have to actually LISTEN now to tell them apart? Bummer. For the record, I just want to say I find Johnny Damon at least as attractive as Derek Jeter.
Just putting it out there. Kerry seems super comfortable right off the bat. He knows the script by now. He'll hunt the terrorists down and kill them, yeah yeah, blablabla.
How sad is it that we live in a world where a potential world leader sounds so blasé and bored when talking about killing people, no matter who they are? (jessi klein, cnn)

gul, gul, gulistan

2004-10-13T15:42:00.000-04:00

gul- the rose, in turkish. gul- the flower, in farsi and urdu. in sufi poetry, gul represents life as it unfolds from a bud to a full flourishing flower. gul- the sign of innocence.

yesterday, a friend and i went to a concert by latif bolat. his description: one of the most well-known Turkish musicians in the U.S., Latif Bolat plays Turkish Folk Music and devotional Sufi songs, called Ilahi and Nefes, from the Anatolian peninsula. Accompanying himself on baglama (Turkish long-necked lute), Latif sings of love and spirit, with many songs featuring the lyrics of the great 13th century mystical poets Rumi and Yunus Emre.

it was really beautiful and wonderful. i bought one of his cds. (listen) it was nice to reconnect also with a friend whom i hadn't talked to in a long while. bolat's music and descriptions of turkey made me yearn to visit. additionally, a professor recited some poems by Maulana Jalalluddin Rumi in farsi. It made me want to learn farsi. From the little I could understand, the poetry was so captivating. so calming, i need ramadan. i am yearning for ramadan.

here is the translation of one poem from last night by Maulana Jalalluddin Rumi:

Come, come, whoever you are.
Wonderer, worshipper, lover of leaving.
It doesn't matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow
a thousand times
Come, yet again, come, come.

(from the Mathnavi)

note: someone asked me why/what is Maulana- it means our Master, but in our hearts it reflects the love and connection which we have with our Masters, may Allah bless them all.

phony populism places populace in peril

2004-10-12T15:54:00.000-04:00

"The Republicans' phoney populism and constant insistence on issues of cultural identity - religion, hunting and tradition - take advantage of the fact that people have little time for social history."

a great line from an article by serge halimi in le monde (Bush's Appeal To America's Underclass). you can also find it on the znet website. which i recommend as regular reading. this line is one of the main reasons, i feel like bush is going to win.

some more from the article:
"Bush is very comfortable with people. He can deliver a message. He has this attitude which unfortunately America likes: 'Somebody hit me, I am going to hit that somebody in the butt.' He is not wise, but he is very very decisive even if it's sometimes stupid. I think he's a very formidable guy politically." Since 9/11 and the constant reminders of its horrors (repeated security alerts help to maintain the pressure) most Americans support the idea of a blow for a blow. And they expect their president to be prepared to take decisions."

and one last election funny...

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the little rose is dust, my dear

2004-10-12T10:24:00.000-04:00

The little rose is dust, my dear;
The elfin wind is gone
That sang a song of silver words
And cooled our hearts with dawn.

And what is left to hope, my dear,
Or what is left to say?
The rose, the little wind and you
Have gone so far away.

by Grace Hazard Conkling

new (and exciting) post

2004-10-11T13:03:00.000-04:00

yes i know the title is so original. driving in from chicago at 2am can do that to a person. fall break was fun and chicago was great. as my sister put it: sensory overload for four days straight. being back and seeing old friends is always nice. evanston was as beautiful as always. shopping adventures at woodfield, ikea, magnificent mile, and belmont were fruitful, if not tiring. i came back with more shoes than i left with, i know: bad, very bad. we ate at great places and i think i gained a hundred pounds this week. walker bros. pancakes- there is no comparison. this new sheesha craze is funny, however, i am not a huge fan. cute decors at most of these places. talking with a friend who just got engaged: he said he decided to marry the girl after talking to her 3 times for a total of less than 3 hours. amazing. i am happy for him, but still i don't think i could be that sure so soon. the chicago marathon was this weekend, another friend was running. i don't know if i could ever run for that long. i was told that the reason the marathon is 26.2 miles (instead of 26 miles- distance in greece) is that the .2 miles was added in london to make it to greenwich park. who knows?

the nobel prize in econ was awarded to two economists (Kydland and Prescott) for their work in studying new business cycle models and time consistency problems. Did you know that the Nobel prize in economic sciences is the only one not set out in Nobel's will? It was set up by the Swedish central bank in 1968. Also did you know that only the peace prize is awarded in Oslo? The rest are given out in Stockholm. By the way the two split 1.3 million dollars.

Oh, the capital of Turkey is NOT istanbul (as my admin law prof said today), it is ankara. yeah that was the moment i tuned in to lecture.

sidenote: things are getting worse in pakistan. some are comparing it to iraq with bombs, beheadings, and kidnappings. read more.

yes i know this post rambles a tad.

mindless pursuits

2004-10-06T17:55:00.000-04:00

1. diet coke with lime: my new favorite thing. i have always hated the weird aftertaste of diet cola, but somehow, this new diet coke with lime tastes great. actually it is even better with fountain diet coke with fresh lime wedges. try it if you don't believe me. mmmm.

2. the eu today gave a tentative nod towards turkey concerning negotiations about joining the eu. the eu decided that turkey had made enough progress in their economic policy, judiciary, and human rights records to warrant negotiations. this does not guarantee turkey a seat, but opens the possibility. my family went to turkey this summer and from their stories it seems quite european in some aspects. also the turks have done quite a good job improving infrastructure, etc. but many dismal human rights violations remain. one that is never mentioned, however, is the fact that women who choose to wear a headscarf can not go to college, work for the government, or serve in elected office. i am not in support of mandatory dress of any kind, thus limitations of this kind, in the name of secularism fly in the face of its very ideals. read about turkey and the eu in today's ny times.

3. working on a case concerning the rights of mobile home owners to organize in order to collectively bargain with their landlords (read slumlords). the overwhelming majority of these people are quite poor and thus legal aid has taken up their case. it is quite amazing how analogous all of it seem to workers rights, however, there the National Labor Relations Act lays out far more rights. still looking for ohio cases that protect tenants against landlord retaliation.

4. have you ever noticed how muslims are shy to acknowledge each other in public. today, i went to get some photos enlarged at a photo lab. the guy working there had a muslim sounding name, short beard, and an american accent. from the looks of me, he must have guessed i was muslim, but made no acknowledgement of the fact. no prob, that is pretty normal. but the minute his supervisor went in the back, he said my name all proper in arabic and said salam. i almost laughed because a minute ago he had said my name all in an american accent. ;)

5. going to chicago tomorrow! yeah!

i feel as empty as a drum

2004-10-04T13:07:00.000-04:00

i wrote this on april 22, 2003 (as the war in iraq began). just random thoughts…

the world is numb and unfeeling. No one can hear the screams of terror that rise from souls. No one notices the pools of blood, no one stops to comfort the sobbing, wailing, writhing masses. We pass in our trances: onward and upward. We are all alone, empty, and busy as bees: doing nothing, saying nothing, feeling nothing. Our attitudes and attentions are so depleted… we know not even ourselves. Who cares about others, their histories, their literature, their hearts? Beauty has vanished, only replaced by screams and anguish. Pain and black dots swimming in my vision; fever and dizziness.

Where are the humans? Scream and wail… no one will hear you, no one will help you. For my lover… no one loves, no one loves. The empty talk of strangers, the rhetoric of imposters, the diatribes of fools, the acceptance of the dead. What have we become, where are we going: the tears have run dry. Confusion. Where to look, what to do, get lost in the loneliness and mundaneness of routine. Skip routine, just sleep, sleep, sleep. Writhe in pain, dirty, crying, alone, voices, wilderness. What a mess. What else should I be?

We busy ourselves so as not to notice the sufferings, the suffering of our own souls. The souls around us. Souls which we have killed and maimed and tortured with our mass consumption and our shiny bombs. How nice. We kill people, steal their names, and put them on our bombs and kill some shiny new people. How ironic. How fucking ironic!

We don’t care, they don’t care. No one cares. No one sees truth. No one feels pain anymore. All we see is our cinematic, grand 30 minute special- no reality left, no humanity: just screaming, just blood, no more tears. Why cry? Alone, no one hears and no one will. falsity.

spread of excellence

2004-10-03T22:27:00.000-04:00

"In a society driven, often unconsciously, to impose a uniform mediocrity upon a former richness of excellences- where McDonald's drives out the local diner, and the mega- Stop & Shop eliminates the corner Mom and Pop- an understanding and defense of full ranges as natural reality might help to stem the tide and preserve the rich raw material of any evolving system: variation itself."

one of my favorite passages from Full House: The Spread of Excellence from Plato to Darwin by the late stephen jay gould. gould was a paleontology/zoology/geology professor at harvard. i truly enjoyed full house, it is a book that explores complex systems and progress within those systems as variation within full systems rather than "things moving somewhere". gould attempts to debunk the common anthropocentric view of the world and progress. plus it is hilariously written. i first read this book during undergrad in a world systems class (go u northwestern, by the way we beat osu for the first time since 1958! sorry bucks, my loyalty lies in evanston). though he writes as a scientist, this model for understanding the world is applicable in various contexts. upon recent re-reading its proposed paradigm was even more appealing. anyway, if you have time give it a read. other books by gould that i liked include mismeasure of man and the panda's thumb.

doesn't seem to be much swingin'

2004-10-03T01:17:00.000-04:00

fall break has officially begun! unfortunately, i feel like it is the same old, same old. anyway this weekend i came back to little ole west chester, ohio to visit my parents. my mom was having a party on saturday, so i also came to help out. i guess i haven't spent much time around west chester since i graduated from high school.

on saturday morning, my dad and i spent some time driving around west chester. it was just like i remembered: people up early working in their lawns and the soccer fields packed with kids and minivans. our backyard had turned all those blazing colors of fall and the leaves were falling fast.

but as i drove around, all i saw were bush/cheney signs and i mean everywhere! big signs, little signs, car signs, buttons, everything bush and bush-related. so much has been made about ohio being a swing state, but down here in small town ohio, there is no swinging, just strong bush support. our neighbors have four bush signs in their lawn! four, i mean, we get it, you like bush! so i probably counted over a hundred bush signs in just a few hours this morning. i saw exactly 3 kerry signs! one was in the beloved lawn of mr. gingrich- the 7th grade world history teacher, of course! the world needs to listen to junior high history teachers!

this last week, west chester had a personal visit from the beloved president. it was the largest bush rally of his campaign with close to 50,000 people! they closed down our main street and let out school early! definitely no swinging around here!
("It's fitting that George Bush's visit is causing students to miss school," said Brendon Cull, a Kerry campaign spokesman. "George Bush has spent the past four years making it harder for Ohio's students to get a quality education." -Cincinnati Post)

i mentioned that we should put a kerry sign in our lawn, but from our neighbor's reaction, you would think i had said a bad word.

on a side note, i was dispatched to the grocery store to pick up stuff for the party. it is a normal suburban warehouse club type place with good produce. maybe i should not have been shocked, but the whole time i did not see one non-white face. i looked for a shade of brown, a little black, maybe someone half-asian. nope not one, in a huge store, not even a cashier. i felt like all the eyes were boring a hole in my back. how did i grow up here? i mean i can't walk down high street without tumbling over half a dozen foreigners. now i remember there was a reason i left dead (i mean, west) chester. note to self: do not move back here.

something bad has begun? or have we just been ignoring it all along

2004-10-01T11:12:00.000-04:00

with yusuf islam and tariq ramadan being denied entry into the us, the recent bomb in the midst of so many iraqi children, and a suicide bomber in a crowded shiaa mosque in sialkot, i can't help but have a terrible sinking feeling in my stomach. as i sit here in a liberal, artsy, yuppie coffeehouse, i can barely swallow my overpriced latte. i just can't handle the absurdity of my life. i just go on day in, day out and lose my self in mundaness and frivolity so as to ignore the reality of everything. watching the debates and thinking about vacation, i feel like i am in one of those crazy surrealist landscapes of dali.

anyway find out more for yourself:

yusuf islam in his own words in the la times: something bad has begun.

slaughter in sialkot

35 children killed by bomb as they gathered to get candy

how do we always get back here?

2004-10-01T02:03:00.000-04:00

so tonight was a typical girls' night out. fun and full of laughter. it is always good to see people you care about. after all the fun it ended with a chick flick. one of those sappy love stories, but somehow it no longer resonates. i couldn't build up enough emotion to be sappy, girly, giggly, and wistful at the end when the guy confesses his love for said girl. these nights with the girls always come back around to that ever persistent discussion of love, relationships, and the lack thereof in everyone's lives. we heard the cute stories of our newly engaged gal pals. then wistfully everyone made their requisite comments about wanting love, etc. so what is this love that we always come back around to, we always end up back at this conversation point, why do we do this to ourselves? i mean there is a whole lot more to us, to our lives, to our dreams, etc.

what is love? (i will share something written along these lines a few months ago following another one of these tortuous conversations)

love comes from knowing someone, being with someone, making the conscious decision to open your heart to them- taking the chance that they will love you or not and yet growing to love every breath they take.
"i fear i have nothing to give, i have so much to lose"

it takes deciding you are willing to invest- to truly love. you meet a few people who there is a true potential to love, but to get beyond attachment or affinity- it takes an effort to develop true love. one needs the opportunity and time to let your heart love fully. but life is complicated, fast, and transient. we meet so few and so fast. how do you know when to grab on and not let go?

in the end you just want someone to care, hold your hand, and a place to rest your head. just an embrace that is able to convey the pain, the joy, the hopes. is it all fantasy or is there truly joy, love, and hope in humanity?

ellington

2004-09-29T22:20:00.000-04:00

Duke Ellington wished for:

freedom from hatred (absolute hatred)

freedom from self-pity

freedom from fear (that you will do something for someone that will make them better off)

freedom from pride (that makes you believe you are better than your brother)

rape as a tool of disempowerment

2004-09-29T11:32:00.000-04:00

"If equality means entitlement to an equal share of the profits of economic tyranny, it is irreconcilable with liberation. Freedom in an unfree world is merely license to exploit."
(Greer, The Whole Woman)

rape is a topic which women often think about but rarely discuss. i was a bit surprised once when in a discussion with a good friend, she revealed that her biggest fear was to be sexually assaulted. i guess i should not have been surprised, maybe the fear is one we often push to the far recesses of our minds. but in further discussion, the utter disempowerment and total violation more than the just the physical assault are what we could not bear to face. she had had more experience in dealing with victims of such assaults and thus felt some sort of vivid specter of fear. i can't say that this is my ultimate fear. however, after listening to stories of victims of gender violence in conflict areas, i could not sleep for many nights. the pictures and stories were of course horrible, but it was the stoic faces of the women talking about their tragedies that would not stop streaming through my mind.

the pogroms carried out in gujarat are an entire topic in and of themselves. however, the use of systematic rape in gujarat is just one example of using women's bodies as means of gaining control over a people. univ of chicago prof, martha nussbaum discusses the implications in the current boston review issue. just a quote from her article: "Control over women’s bodies was thus substituted for control over other aspects of daily life." Definitely worth a read.

though not directly connected, her words reminded me of Dr. Ingrid Mattson (hartford seminary) discussing the control over women in post-caliphate muslim societies. once muslim men felt that they had lost power in other spheres (politically, etc.) they could exert control in their lives by controlling women and the private sphere. thus emerged a paradigm of man as amir of the home, she argued, deviating from the traditional contractual partnership. thus now we see a common theme of outwardly exerting power over women as means to prove religiosity in some warped sense.

autumn's arrival

2004-09-28T22:28:00.000-04:00

as i was walking to the gym today, i took my normal shortcut across a grassy clearing. it was an amazing autumn evening. the breeze was getting cooler as the sun fell in the sky. i love fall. today was one of those beautiful sunny days where the brisk breeze is perfect and the leaves crunch perfectly under your feet. the autumn smells and the crisp air are what make me love this season.

i have a whole week of vacation coming up, i have so much to do. i should catch up on school work. i am probably going to chicago for a few days and maybe boston. i have to work out all the details. but it will definitely be nice to get out of ohio and routine for a while.

this year is the centenary of salvador dali's birth. he is by far my favorite 20th century artist, and of course the most eccentric of the surrealists. the first dali print i received was a framed 'Swans Reflecting Elephants' which was painted in 1937. Other than that i also have prints of Meditative Rose and Paysage aux Papillons. An interesting article about Dali's life in today's new york times entitled 'unmasking a surreal egotist'. give it a read.

coldness

2004-09-28T01:33:00.000-04:00

the chill of indifference
envelopes our lives
the foreign, the other, the distant
not my problem, not my cares
my wants and my comfort are paramount
the enemy can go to hell
our selfishness and intolerance
cloud our minds and hearts
so caught up in me
no time for you or your cares
even winter blushes in front of our coldness
even when we reach out there is
no warmth in our touch.

ondaatje's words

2004-09-27T13:46:00.000-04:00

When I was working in Sri Lanka, i stumbled upon Ondaatje's (of English Patient fame) poetry. This one is amazing and inspiring, so a fitting first entry.

The Cinnamon Peeler

If I were a cinnamon peeler
I would ride your bed
and leave the yellow bark dust
on your pillow.
Your breasts and shoulders would reek
you could never walk through markets
without the profession of my fingers
floating over you. The blind would
stumble certain of whom they approached
though you might bathe
under the rain gutters, monsoon.
Here on the upper thigh
at this smooth pasture
neighbour to your hair
or the crease
that cuts your back. This ankle.
You will be known among strangers
as the cinnamon peeler's wife.
I could hardly glance at you
before marriage
never touch you
- your keen nosed mother, your rough brothers.
I buried my hands
in saffron, disguised them
over smoking tar,
helped the honey gatherers...
When we swam once
I touched you in the water
and our bodies remained free,
you could hold me and be blind of smell.
You climbed the bank and said
this is how you touch other women
the grass cutter's wife, the lime burner's daughter.
And you searched your arms
for the missing perfume
and knew
what good is it
to be the lime burner's daughter
left with no trace
as if not spoken to in the act of love
as if wounded without the pleasure of a scar.
You touched
your belly to my hands
in the dry air and said
I am the cinnamon
peeler's wife. Smell me.

-Michael Ondaatje