the cinnamon peeler's wife

so tonight was a typical girls' night out. fun and full of laughter. it is always good to see people you care about. after all the fun it ended with a chick flick. one of those sappy love stories, but somehow it no longer resonates. i couldn't build up enough emotion to be sappy, girly, giggly, and wistful at the end when the guy confesses his love for said girl. these nights with the girls always come back around to that ever persistent discussion of love, relationships, and the lack thereof in everyone's lives. we heard the cute stories of our newly engaged gal pals. then wistfully everyone made their requisite comments about wanting love, etc. so what is this love that we always come back around to, we always end up back at this conversation point, why do we do this to ourselves? i mean there is a whole lot more to us, to our lives, to our dreams, etc.

what is love? (i will share something written along these lines a few months ago following another one of these tortuous conversations)

love comes from knowing someone, being with someone, making the conscious decision to open your heart to them- taking the chance that they will love you or not and yet growing to love every breath they take.
"i fear i have nothing to give, i have so much to lose"

it takes deciding you are willing to invest- to truly love. you meet a few people who there is a true potential to love, but to get beyond attachment or affinity- it takes an effort to develop true love. one needs the opportunity and time to let your heart love fully. but life is complicated, fast, and transient. we meet so few and so fast. how do you know when to grab on and not let go?

in the end you just want someone to care, hold your hand, and a place to rest your head. just an embrace that is able to convey the pain, the joy, the hopes. is it all fantasy or is there truly joy, love, and hope in humanity?