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the cinnamon peeler's wife

3.27.2008 at 5:34:00 PM

sab kuch

Sab kahan, kuchh lala(h)-o-gul men numayan ho gai’n
khak men, kya suraten hongi kih pinhan ho gai’n

Yad thin ham ko bhi ranga rang bazm arai’yan
Lekin ab naqsh-o-nigar-e taq-e nisyan ho gai’n

Nind us ki hai, damagh us ka hai, raten us ki hain
Teri zulfen jis ke bazu par pareshan ho gai’n

Main chaman men kya gaya, goya dabistan khul gaya
Bulbulen sun kar mere nale ghazal kh(v)an ho gai’n

Ranj se khugar hu’a insane to mit jata hai ranj
Mushkilen mujh par parin itni kih aasan ho gain

Yun hi gar rota raha ghalib to ai ahl-e jahan
Dekhna in bastion ko tum kih viran ho gai’n

(my favorite lines of a certain ghalib ghazal)

4.03.2006 at 4:54:00 PM

oooh. aaaah.


i have finally settled into dc. life goes on and work keeps me tired. i saw the cherry blossoms- and as trite as it sounds they were breath taking. more than visually, the smell was amazing. around 6 pm walking into the roosevelt memorial with the blossoms surrounding you from all sides- the smell is other-wordly.

i like the metro. don't like cabs. the cuisine here has been un-impressive. i love my apt- so come visit! besides that i am not sure whether i am actually going to continue my blog, and if so- what direction it should take? any suggestions...

p.s. i am addicted to the style network, alas i lack all style.

1.26.2006 at 10:44:00 AM

dc- here i come!



the wait is up! i will be moving in a few weeks and thus posting will be resumed.

update- i just got back from chicago. will be in c-bus next week. then off to apt hunt in dc. then some wedding craziness for barbie.

any suggestions as to apts in dc?

i am excited. i am scared (a bit). i have to go shopping!

10.19.2005 at 5:59:00 PM

the life of a bored boring bore....

aaah you would have imagined doing nothing to be sublime. perfectly sublime. like a perfect sunset on a beach with lazy waves lapping and frosted drinks in your subtly manicured hand. (imagine a loud screeching sound)

no.

nothing like that at all.

since the age of 13 i have always been busy. every year, every weekend, every summer- i have either been in school or working. when i did take a break it was either a stressfully short one with the family or a vacation somewhere filled with things to do. maybe i just don't know how to do nothing. maybe i am just not skilled enough for it.

i have stayed away from blogging because (a) i didn't want to bore you with my boring life (b) my internet connection at home is horrid. now due to the begging of some (mostly law students with nothing better to distract them than blogs- don't worry i am jealous!) i have come back to post.

now to be completely honest the beginnings of my extended break were quite fun-filled. i partied a lot, i traveled a couple of places, and saw lots of fun people. but abruptly it ended, everyone went back to their normally scheduled programs and i was left in a non-stop boring reality show that is my (non-existent) life. since i was stuck in a catch-22 (my job said we want you right away and thus you can't go to london- and right away in their minds is some distant/near future- as soon as they summon me- fortunately london let me defer), i decided to take time off, go home, and do nothing.

sounds good, right? wrong. there is only so much sleeping, reading novels, moping around, hanging out with my parents that i can take. i now officially have given up getting dressed. i live in work-out clothes/ pajamas. because mostly i workout and sleep. i do some work for my dad (which let me tell you can barely keep me awake- but it pays).

let me leave you with the highlights:
- i have re-watched every (and i mean every) Sex & the City episode (that's a whole lot of Monolos let me tell you)
- i purchased health-insurance (to make sure i could do nothing in complete wellbeing)
- i read many many novels (i started with all the intellectual ones like Kundera and Marquez- now i degenerated into the pulp that i can skim in a couple of hours- read all those random Shopholic books- they are an hour read, two tops)
- practiced reading Urdu with little kid books (had to read story entitled: Choti Gaajar ki Shaadi Beigan Se- translation the little carrot's wedding to the eggplant)
- attempted to brush up on my Arabic and German
- bought makeup at MAC (which is absolutely unnecessary since i don't leave my house)
- watched every stupid DVD in my library
- got a personal trainer to make me workout even more
- cooked dinner, lunch, and baked multiple batches of cookies
- become everyone's personal assistant (i now get calls from uncles and cousins with requests- since i am doing NOTHING)
-watch cheesy sitcoms all day, especially The Cosby Show (that's for you sehar)
- get told everyday that i need to get married
-organized all my junk
-the list goes on, but i will spare you the details. it isn't that i am not invited to go random places, it is just that i am so bored that i don't feel like going anywhere!

besides this pretty much nothing. if i have not returned your email or calls- please forgive me. my life has become this engulfing pit which refuses to let me come up for air. i think about calling/emailing you and then i realize that explaining my pathetic existence will take too long and my parents will probably call me in that time to program the vcr for them or something. so until more sporadic and crazy adventures ensue- i can not promise much posting. i apologize.

7.19.2005 at 3:59:00 PM

for those of us who could not be there...




many of you know people who are on the rihla in madina. fareena alam of q-news has put together a blog so that we can share in their blessed journey. the pictures are amazing and the entries by various people are heart-warming. reading about the rawdah brings tears to me eyes, helps me re-align focus, and see the trivial for what it really is. (also i recommend her entry about hearing about the london bombings)

if you would like to learn more about the rihla program, visit deen-intensive.

7.10.2005 at 12:30:00 AM

just a squeak...


i really shouldn't be posting- if i have a spare second i should be studying. but alas i am a slacker. just a few things in my head (well besides the bar)...

1. i got my digital camera and it is great. i have been taking lots of pics during wedding season. (the zoom range is amazing and it takes good video to boot)

2. speaking of weddings, in june and july alone i am invited to like 20 weddings. i actually have attended some event (usually more than one) every weekend. non-desi friends just don't understand this. i can't even enjoy the shaadis because i keep thinking about failing the bar.

3. thomas friedman strikes again. he wrote this horrible op-ed in the nyt that made my skin crawl. i have a lot of thoughts on the article, but don't have time to share, read prof. juan cole's analysis of it (scroll down a little- it's worth reading), he says it better than i could anyway. (by the way mr. friedman, if i tatoo a fatwa onto my forehead that i hate obl- will this make you happy?)

4. my sister is in turkey- everytime i hear from her she is eating mishmish, or kabobs- or going to a yogurt festival!- or hanging out on the bosphorus! ooh poor baby- you get no sympathy from me, just bring me back gifts!

5. my dad is leaving for moscow on business- the russians keep pushing back the trip, because their aerospace industry is horrid. but still i am sure going to moscow is more exciting than trusts or corporation law. after that my parents leave on vacation for indonesia, singapore, and malaysia.

6. the point of the last two statements was to inspire pity and sympathy in the hearts of my readers for me- who is stuck in columbus, ohio- while everyone else prances across the globe. prances literally.

7. in honor of the great people of london, i suggest you listen to cornershop- my favorite song is brimful of asha (it is actually on the radio at the moment). what a great song- what other song can combine lyrics such as "everybody needs a bosom for a pillow" and "Mohammed Rafi, Lata Mangeshka, solid state radio..." genius!

8. is it bad that i can't wait for the new harry potter book (half blood prince) to come out? i have promised that i will not come within 100 ft of the book till after the bar exam. (man am i loser)

9. again a plug for frontline. a while back they did a piece on the terrorist threat in europe, seems fitting now. you can watch it online in its entirety. but take it with a grain of salt- it is one of the more inflammatory pieces that i have seen them do. also, bothering to me is the repeated playing of the quran behind translations of horrible conversations between terrorists. surely in the minds of people who don't speak arabic- wouldn't the subtitles be the translation of what they are hearing- well not on frontline. also other random bothersome things- such as everytime they mention extremism, a picture of a covered woman pops up. as no woman who chooses to cover could possible not be extreme. but there is some important info- i think the alienation, poverty, and educational state which the french imam discusses are of particular import.

10. where was i during college, obviously not following the millions of internet phenomena such as "all your base are belong to us" or "pusher/shover robots- terrible secret of space". but there are tons of crazy videos and such things out there. my brother (who by far surpassed me in nerdom) introduced me to some of these. i realized there is a whole nutty world out there in crazy internet world, and i don't think i want to go there.

last note: please remember me on the 26th,27th,and 28th of this month. i will be sitting through the hell that is the ohio bar exam. send prayers, good luck, happy thoughts, positive karma, crib sheets- whatever you can muster- i will need it!

6.14.2005 at 4:01:00 PM

and now for the famous disappearing act...



i apologize for being missing in action, but as the picture attests- i have been slightly busy- studying. okay pretending to study and also roaming a bit. but now i am in buckle down mode: class 4 hours a day and trying to study at least 6-8 hours more. let's just say barbri and i are getting pretty close. also, since i am giving you excuses- i haven't been taking my laptop to school so that i would be less enticed by the wireless web and thus no posts.

what have you been up to for a month? you ask curiously... or you should be. i will succumb to my list obsession and my law school training and fill you in... (outline style that is- you already knew i was a nerd)

I. Law School
A. Finals
1. Four Tests
a. Copyright
b. International IP
c. Professional Responsibility
d. Fourteenth Amendment
2. Outcome
a. i can't believe i took my last finals!
b. hopefully i passed, but as of yet i have no clue
c. somehow i managed to do pretty well in copyright
(the only grade posted)and yet i never cracked
the book- i swear i skipped class and never read.
this is not good for my already slacker attitude on studying.
B. Graduation
1. Funny Hats, Weird Velvety Robes, and a doctoral hood
(that was placed upon each one of us one at a time- boring, yeah).
2. it was very hot but beautiful none the less downtown
at the historic Ohio Theatre
3. family and friends in attendance- nice;
the t-money cheer when i walked down- awesome
4. richard goldstone, a justice from south africa's constitutional court
spoke- he was amazing. most people thought him boring (because he
actually spoke about substance) and others all disagreed with him
(because he dared to criticize american foreign policy). his points
were quite poignant, sad that the audience was so lame.
5. you can see some pics here (i checked to make sure i am not there,
but there is a sweet family portrait of sunshineykittens).
6. i can now say i have a juris doctor (only to have all the MDs and
PhDs glare at me), to get that esquire behind my name, gotta pass
the bar (how pretentious can it get?)
C. Graduate Classes
1. just last week i turned in my Arabic Paper for my classical quran
class- writing it was painful, but i think my prof had a soft spot
for me- cuz i got an A for some really crappy stuff
2. i still have a grad paper left, but luckily i can turn it in after
the bar- oh yay more studying
II. Wanderings
A. Chicago
1. Partners in Crime
a. Road trippers: SunShineyKittens and Lululee
b. Host: LaLa
c. A Cast of Thousands
2. Attractions
a. Burr Ridge
b. Belmont
c. Devon
d. Hyde Park
e. Evanston
f. Michigan Ave.
g. Wicker Park
h. Random Sheesha Bars, Bowling Alleys, The Lake, etc.
i. Greektown (yeah right)
3. Lessons learnt:
a. alienation and narcissism- not such good things
b. spiders are scary, especially when lululee is driving
c. don't eat at clark's on belmont- but do go to karaoke on belmont
d. lala's neck likes the wind
e. getting lost in chicago can use up a lot of camera film
f. well priced sushi = good, seedy sheesha bar = bad
g. don'’t buy socks, they will give them to you at the bowling alley
h. uchicago students could use a good tan
i. wishbone had great food and wacky decor- they call it southern
reconstruction cooking- just eat the crab/salmon cakes.
j. cramming so much into 4 days is exhausting
k. so on and so forth
B. Washington, DC & Northern VA
1. Partners in Crime
a. Flight Buddy: Lululee
b. Rendezvous Girl: Lala
c. Hosts: Natasha and NaghMo
2. Attractions
a. Georgetown
b. DuPont Circle
c. Herndon
d. Alexandria
e. Leesburg
f. Many miles of highways, byways, interstates, back roads in VA,
MD, and DC
g. Wegman'’s, Charcoal Kebab, Cake Love, Random Pool Halls, Parks,
and so much more
3. Lessons learnt:
a. What isn'’t Wegmans?
b. Aadha Chocolate, Aadha Vanilla
c. Naghs is a rhyming genius
d. Wonder Showzen + Muslim Kryptonite = amazing
e. i am not meant to see the end of dodgeball
f. you can eat a lot in 4 days
g. sephora is free entertainment for 100 hours
h. directions are for losers
C. Cincinnati
1. i go there a lot- but this time i had fun- mt adams was nice
2. eat at teak
3. barbecued anything is better
D. Location for the indeterminate future:
1. library, columbus, ohio, usa, world
2. (while my family is traversing the globe going to russia,
india, turkey, indonesia, singapore, and malaysia- i better
get some damn good souvenirs.)
III. New Acquisitions (shopping is a good studying reward)
A. Purse(s)
1. i located a fun cheap summer one
2. also picked up some knock-offs on m street in dc
B. Shoe(s)
1. very comfortable ecco sandals (a little too pricey, though)
2. nine west tan heels at leesburg outlets (my search was finally over)
3. now i am in the middle of a shoe moratorium
C. Watch
1. i have been in search of this scarf watch thingie for weeks
2. looked for it in 4 cities and finally found it in DC
3. i love it and keep getting compliments
D. CDs
1. Get Behind Me Satan- The White Stripes-i love this album, get it!
2. Picaresque- The Decemberists (okay I stole this from my sister)
E. Assorted Graduation Gifts
1. Money!
a. By far the best (gift certificates are okay too) and most received
b. Hint, hint to all others
2. Gold
a. of the very shiny bright desi variety, thanks,
but not really my cup of tea
F. Camera!!!!!!
1. this is what i am most excited about! i finally decided and ordered
it this weekend- expecting it in the mail! i looked at a lot of them
and researched different types. i decided not to get an slr after all-
with all the lenses and accessories, a good slr would be well over $1000.
i am into photography, but not that into it. I didn'’t really want just a
point and shoot. So I considered the "‘prosumer" large zoom cameras,
including: Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ20 and FZ5, Sony DSCH1, Canon
PowerShot S2 IS, FujiFinepic S5100, and the Kinoca Minolta Z5. so most of
them fell out of the running fairly quickly. I finally decided on the
Canon PowerShot S2 IS. Both the Canon and the Sony just came out and after
looking at a lot of reviews and comparisons, I decided on the Canon. I am
very excited- you can read a thorough review here. I will let you know more
when it arrives.
2. just some digital camera observations: people are really obsessed with
megapixels. i thought most people would see through the hype, but at
every store, people who didn'’t know that much were running after the
7 or 8 mp cameras. I decided on a 5.1 mp with a 12x optical zoom. Most
point and shoots have 3x zooms and for the average user 8 mp is useless
(unless they are making posters of their party pics).
3. nyt has a nice short article for very novice digital camera users, it
is a helpful and quick read.
IV. The BAR EXAM
A. Hell
B. I wasn't cut out for studying
C. Please resuscitate me on July 29.
D. I hear there are no exams to become a short-order cook.


my new toy (thanks mom and dad!)...

5.04.2005 at 2:06:00 AM

we who are your closest friends

(by phillip lopate)

we who are
your closest friends
feel the time
has come to tell you
that every Thursday
we have been meeting,
as a group,
to devise ways
to keep you
in perpetual uncertainty
frustration
discontent and
torture
by neither loving you
as much as you want
nor cutting you adrift.
Your analyst is
in on it,
plus your boyfriend
and your ex-husband;
and we have pledged
to disappoint you
as long as you need us.
In announcing our
association
we realize we have
placed in your hands
a possible antidote
against uncertainty
indeed against ourselves.
But since our Thursday nights
have brought us
to a community
of purpose
rare in itself
with you as
the natural center,
we feel hopeful you
will continue to make unreasonable
demands for affection
if not as a consequence
of your disastrous personality
then for the good of the collective.

(sidenotes: one more final exam till freedom!/ i am going to chicago this weekend, graduating next weekend, then off to dc/ i have been having an impossible time falling asleep- i keep tossing and turning, thinking about every little detail/problem in the world, and noticing every slight sound/ whoever invented smoke detectors that beep when the battery is low should be shot. we have 7 smoke detectors in a 8 foot radius (yeah great design) and one of the ones in the hallway has been beeping infernally for the last week or so. with finals, no one has had time to go buy a 9 volt battery to replace it (plus we are all too short to reach it), finally in a fit of rage at 3 am (i hadn't slept in 30 odd hours) i got up, teetered on a chair and yanked the damned thing from the ceiling. and it kept beeping. i removed the battery and it kept beeping. what is in these things? i finally hid it in the linen closet behind some towels and boxes. it kept beeping but at least i couldn't hear it in my room. but then as i am trying to fall asleep, i realize that from hearing it for so long, i now have the beeping in my head! doh! (as homer would say)).




woke up again today, realized i hate myself, my face is a disease.

(about how i am feeling and the words of a great song (a happy medium) by malcolm middleton, of arab strap fame)

4.26.2005 at 2:08:00 PM

another way to avoid studying

second rule of blogging: do not discuss blogging
gonna break it.

now that everyone and their mother has a blog, there is plenty of random stuff to read out there. really i am expecting a call from my mother: beta, maine bhi ek blog shuru kiya hai. and my dad replying: ye blogwog kya bakwas hai? (actually my mom should get an urdu blog and post shairi, hmmm maybe i shall suggest it).

well, now i have stumbled across my new favorite blogs: photo journals. not too many words, just amazing photographs. there are a lot of them out there. check out the photoblog resource page. also there is a great online magazine about photoblogs.

now what if i took two of my interests (south asia and photography) and combined them? well there are some really great south asian photoblogs out there. two of note include point & shoot and tasveer. check them out this picture is my fave.

i am supposed to be getting a digital slr camera for graduation. but i am not sure which one, do you all have any suggestions? here are some i am considering...

by the way if i did have a photoblog, i would start with this picture (not for its photographic quality but rather for its hilariousness):



p.s. i am in a really bad mood and i hate studying.

4.23.2005 at 11:44:00 PM

ditty(ies) discovered

the first rule of good blogging: don't post lyrics to songs.
i am breaking it. there were never any claims of being a good blog.
i owe you no duty, so sue someone else.



minor discovery: sometime in the late 90s, during undergrad, i had heard a song i really liked. but i never knew the name nor the band. i just remembered a random line like: "i wish i were an alien at home behind the sun". no one could help me (bastards). i searched and never found it. then randomly listening to the radio some 7 years later, i heard the song. it was pearl jam's wishlist (off the yield album). you do not understand what a relief this was to finally know the name of that song and all the lyrics. it was like having an annoying itch that you just couldn't get rid of. i know i am a loser. (how could i not have recognized eddie vedder?)


major discovery: my sis brought back tarkan's album, dudu, from turkey. it took a while to grow on me, but i love it. my fave is uzun ince bir yoldayim. she mentioned that this song was a traditional turkish folk song. i tried to bug her about the lyrics but she was not very helpful (what good is her knowledge of turkish if not to help me understand pop songs?). and thus my quest began...

Uzun ince bir yoldayım
Gidiyorum gündüz gece
Bilmiyorum ne haldeyim
Gidiyorum gündüz gece
Dünyaya geldiğim anda
Yürüdüm aynı zamanda
İki kapılı bir handa
Gidiyorum gündüz gece

Kırkdokuz yıl bu yollarda
Ovada dağlarda çöllerde
Düşmüşüm gurbet ellerde
Gidiyorum gündüz gece

Şaşar Veysel iş bu hale
Kah ağlaya kah güle
Yetişmek için MENZİLE
Gidiyorum gündüz gece


translation:
i'm on a long and narrow road
on my way morning and night
i don't know what state i'm in
i'm on my way morning and night

from the moment i came into this world
began walking at the same time
in a place with two doors
i'm on my way morning and night

if ever it is thought of in depth
it'll seem far away when it's seen
the path is worth one minute in quantity
i'm on my way morning and night

Veysel is confused at the state of this....
some laugh and some cry
to reach upto the place of object (the goal)
i'm on my way morning and night


in the traditional way, the maqta in the last stanza contains the poet's name. and so i was interested in asik veysel. from lala i got some vague troubadour stuff. there are tons of sites devoted to him on the web with some really trippy pictures (mostly in turkish and german). you can find out more on the wiki site for turkish music and there is one on tarkan. uzun ince bir yoldayim is sung by many, including latif bolat.


so who is asik veysel? Asik Veysel (1894-1973) was an influential Turkish folk musician. He is one of the most renowned representatives of the "asik" tradition in the 20th century, which dates back to the 15th century in Anatolia. The Asik (a kind of troubadour), singing poetry (mostly their own) and playing the saz, has become the voice of common people, expressing their relationship with their land; their loves, inner conflicts, and expectations--generally depicting all aspects of rural life. Veysel's poetry is metrical, using predominantly 8- and 11-syllable meters. much of asik music originates from northeast anatolia, with different variations ranging from political satire to religious devotion (especially around the city of kars). now i really want to go to turkey (lala, go there cuz i will be bunking at your place).



(wow this was an extremely good way to avoid studying. by the way check out the additions to my blogroll: barely legal, sepia mutiny, sunshiney kittens, mrs. b to the rescue, and ho'dizzle fo'shizzle.)

edit: due to mrs. b, i had to go find this out, another useless piece of knowledge to stop me from remembering important things. you ask what is a fartlek? (well you didn't, but anyway) fartlek, developed in the 1930's, comes from the Swedish for 'Speed Play' and combines continuous and interval training. fartlek allows the athlete to run whatever distance and speed they wish, varying the intensity, and occasionally running at high intensity levels. this type of training stresses both the aerobic and anaerobic energy pathways. and all along we thought they were making it up!

4.22.2005 at 1:01:00 AM

it's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring



the air still with heat,
heavy in humidity- as if the atmosphere itself is holding its breath
the bright and scorching sun lording over the blue spring sky
and yet darkness, grayness, and impending clouds
stand poised to move in
to overwhelm the tense heat
the heat as if a drug, intoxicating pedestrians
making them languid and slothful in their movements

the break- one drop, then two
with a gasp
the torrent unleashes itself
glistening crystals and pooling wetness
soothe the anxious earth
the pink and lavender of early evening
is cool with the rain
the clouds now light- unburdened
of their responsibilities
dance with the sun's rays
shafts of late sunlight stream through the spring rain
the coolness reigns as the truant heat awaits the morning


he went to bed, bumped his head and couldn't get up in the morning.
rain, rain go away, come again some other day.

*randomness:
quarter red potatoes, rub with olive oil, sprinkle with italian seasoning/salt/crushed red pepper, bake covered 375 till soft, 400 uncovered till crisp, yummy.

i finally found a place to buy rabbi shergill's album (i should've bought it this summer in delhi for 150 rupees) online at shrimati's. the buzz about him is everywhere- all over the blogistan, but definitely watch his video. now i have to go home and find my mom's book of bulla shah poetry.

good friends are great to talk to when you are having doubts. thanks guys.

lala is trying to make me feel better or something. anyway some researchers said that it is okay to be fat or something like that. read while eating a donut (or half a dozen).

the cultural landscape, as well as the social and political ones, has changed in the last decade of the 20th century: people change their domicile and country much more easily, they have continuous access to information on a planetary scale, and they have powers of consumption that their fathers would never have dreamed of. Are they happier? hobsbawm submits the question and tries to discuss it in his book: on the edge of the new century. (try to answer his queries for yourself. warning: may cause introspection)

4.18.2005 at 10:49:00 PM

recent regalements

the last few weeks of law school are flying by! but before final exams are upon us, we are trying to have as much fun as possible. so there has been a lot of hanging out and staying up too late. i did get in some interesting things as well.


hotel rwanda: on wednesday, i finally saw the movie in a free showing at the union. it was a good movie, well at least as good as can be expected. i watched with a bunch of undergrads, which may not have been the best idea. what was the point of joaquin phoenix being in the movie? his journalist character was not well developed, nor crucial to the story. he served as a way to show the carnage? the movie in general could have used better writing, better editing, and better character development. it raised important issues and was definitely emotionally powerful. cheadle did a pretty good job. just as they said in the movie, as we walked out the reaction was primarily: oh that was so sad, let's go out and have fun now. plus as those who have actually worked in africa mentioned: it leaves us with a happy (come on- they escape to europe) hollywood ending, thus allowing us to be secure in our apathy that things turned out just fine.


rizwan-muazzam qawwali: on thursday, there was a live qawwali show at the mershon. brothers rizwan mujahid ali khan and muazzam mujahid ali khan have an impeccable musical pedigree - their grandfather personally taught nusrat fateh ali khan (they are his nephews) the art of qawwali singing. the pair comes from a family of 5 generations of qawwals. they did some traditional qawallis, some panjabi, some braj bhasha, and some newer interpretations. they are definitely rising stars. already the group is amazing, we can expect much more as they mature in their art. the audience was quite amusing as well. all the typical character were there: the traditional uncle/auntie types who loudly yell wah wah (and of course the crazy uncle who tries to dance in his seat), then there were the classy "sophisticated" asian types who come for all sorts of cultural arts (they are all dressed in black with a tasteful asian inspired shawl- which they picked up at nordstrom's), and of course my fave were the white hippy, desi-loving, patchouli-smelling kids who were grooving along to the qawwali. prior to the show, there was a lecture by professor ali akbar mahdi from ohio wesleyan. he spoke on tasawwuf and the traditions of muslim mystic music. it was fun to watch him persianize everything. afterward i picked up two cds: days of color and sacrifice to love. i am enjoying them quite a bit. also it was nice to run into a lot of people, including natasha's too cute parents.


edward said's last interview: early on friday evening, we caught the documentary by mike dibb of edward said's last interview. charles glass (abc's former chief mid east correspondent) spent a few hours with said in september 2003. edward said was quite passionate, articulate, and reflective in the interview. though long, it is definitely is worth watching. he commented on so many things, from american education (which he called a factory producing and brainwashing citizens, indoctrinating us with the state religion of patriotism) to his love of modernist literature (though difficult, read conrad!). sidenote: afterwards we had dinner at northstar, which i highly recommend. it has great tofu! as the reviews say, it is healthy food that you actually want to eat.


sin city: saturday night, we caught a late showing of the movie. i found it less violent or explicit than so many other movies. i loved the comic look and feel of the movie. done completely with blue screen, it had a beautifully surreal quality to it. i was amazed how many actors participated in the robert rodriguez film: bruce willis, benicio del toro, clive owen, jessica alba, rosario dawson, tobey macguire, brittany murphy, and even the gilmore girls kid (alexis bledel). tarantino guest directs a scene, with his usual kurosawa homages. it was definitely a fun movie! plus i don't mind clive owen ;)

some new music...


beck: guero, the new album, is good. very different from sea change- much faster and louder. i definitely like the first single off this album, e-pro. by the way did anyone see beck on snl? he didn't look too happy (but does he ever?) and what was up with the guy dancing in the flak suit? i want his job.


fischerspooner: i discovered this from music for robots. i really like their album: odyssey. listen to "just let go". if you like chemical bros., give them a try.


franz ferdinand: not the guy whose assassination led to WWI. i finally acquired the cd, because i have enjoyed it so much. the ffffire song is quite overplayed on the radio, but i really like "take me out". this is one of the few so-called "indie" bands that has not sacrificed quality in route to commercial success.

4.12.2005 at 10:30:00 AM

cardinal question: islam?



nyt focuses today on the cardinal conclave's consideration of islam. the article suggests that islam and relations with muslims are major issues which the cardinals will take into considerations as they pick a new pope. pope john paul II was the first pope to step inside a mosque (damascus) and also apologized for past attrocities (e.g. crusades). he maintained a strict policy of dialogue with muslims.

yet many within the vatican and amongst cardinals feel that this policy is too lenient. they argue that islam is hostile, violent, and evangelical. thus they feel that catholics need to try to convert them at the very least. it is interesting that the article can take such a tone, it would be laughable if done with any other major world religion. but islam is now open to all sorts of shots and accusations.

interestingly, cardinals that have the most interaction with muslims (cardinal francis arinze of nigeria) feel that muslims and catholics have a lot to learn from each other. other cardinals feel that people of all faiths need to stand together to fight secularism. interestingly, other cardinals feel that muslims need to become more secular. oh so less secularism for catholics and more for muslims (oh maybe he is on to something). another hot button issue for the cardinals is the future inclusion of turkey into the eu. some see constantinople as one of the oldest european cities and many see it as a nation of another continent (who made up these continents anyway?).

i for one feel that dialogue is the best avenue, but i guess i am not a fan of catholics trying to convert me. (though if i was going to be christian, i would go catholic all the way, the churches are prettier and i love all the pomp and ceremony) but it is definitely up to muslims to come to the dialogue table and quash those factions that make it okay for people to openly say that islam is a violent religion, etc. man i saw militant buddhists in sri lanka, still no one feels it is okay to say that buddhism is a violent religion. actually when most people hear that there are militant buddhists they are shocked (man we need to hire their pr folks). more to think about: evangelism. in the past muslims have prided themselves on not being "evangelical", not sending out missionaries, when did we decide that aggressive evangelism was a good thing?

4.08.2005 at 11:39:00 AM

totus tuus ego sum

i am completely in your hands.



pope john paul II was laid to rest today in rome. my sleep schedule has been quite off and thus i was awake near 4 am when the live broadcast of the funeral mass began. i only managed to stay awake through the first hour or so. but truly it was quite a wondrous event. the death, life, and the funeral mass of the late pope have so many lessons for us. it was spectacular to hear the thunderous applause of the crowds celebrating the life of the pope. it may seem incongruous with a funeral, but somehow the reverent applause seemed appropriate for such a man. as my mom said: why should we be sad; he was good and is going to meet his lord and the poor man won't have to watch all the pain and evil in the world.

st. peter's square was filled with pilgrims, over 2 million people descended upon rome for this event. nearly 1 million of these were poles. it was said that half of krakow was there. polish flags could be seen waving everywhere. but this pope was the pope of many peoples, having traveled so widely. people from every continent attended. additionally, many non-catholics attended as well. i didn't actually expect to see so many muslim leaders in attendance. i was pleasantly surprised. kings, queens, and heads of state from all over the world were in attendance. but faces that i didn't expect included president khatami from iran, president bashar al-assad of syria, and prime minister erdogan from turkey. a lot of other arab and asian countries sent representatives. i recognized prime minister rajapakse from sri lanka and few other faces. due to the french alphabetical seating the bushes were next to the chiracs (Etats-Unis d'Amérique, France). it was interesting to watch khatami and afghanistan's hamid karzai hobnob with (or at least greet) the israeli delegation. in addition to heads of state there were many religious leaders of almost every christian denomination. very impressively, many leaders of the eastern rite were in attendance including the ecumenical patriarch of constantinople (bartholomew II) and the greek orthodox archbishop christodoulos. (these people have pretty cool websites!). i was impressed by albania, who as their religious delegation sent selim muca of the (sunni) muslim community, rrok mirdita, the catholic archbishop, haxhi dede reshat bardhi of the (shi'ite) bektashi muslim sect and orthodox archbishop anastasios. now that is one diverse (and might i say awesomely dressed) delegation.

some notable absences include the patriarch of moscow, jimmy carter, and any reps from china. patriarch alexiy II of moscow was not in attendance. though constantinople is assumed as the historical center of the eastern rite, the real power lies in moscow. the patriarch did not like the pope and repeatedly refused to meet him. but he did send the head of external relations for the moscow patriarchate.
rumors swirl around carter's absence, since he was the first us president to invite the pope to the white house. some say the bush administration snubbed him due to his criticism of them, others say he was invited and declined to go. though he commented that the us delegation was a strong one (w, his daddy, laura, clinton, and condi).
lastly, china refused to send anyone because the vatican granted the taiwanese president chen shui-bian a visa to attend. anyway you can check out the complete list of attendees.

take some time and read the pope's last will and testament. such men who affect the world (both positively and negatively) don't come around very often. also the homily by german cardinal joseph ratzinger is worthy of reading. in these last documents and the comments by pope and his biographers one idea continues to surface. he urged against the virulent materialism and consumerism that is enveloping us. he urged us to look towards spirituality and to stand firm against cruelty. being lost in this world and forgetting the weak around us he warned us against. as he himself began, he urged us to allow ourselves to be completely in His hands.

(sidenotes: i apologize for the lack of posting. school is whooping me. i have 30 odds days till graduation. my symposium went off without a hitch (okay without any big ones). the days are too pretty to spend inside at a computer. this look is temporary, working on something new. looks like chapati mystery has become group blog, and natasha is crying. lala is looking murderous and all the while being elected to positions of authority (scary!). i have a penchant for roaming, i have been locked in c-bus too long. i will be hitting up different cities shortly (as soon as i get pesky exams out of the way). lululee has turned into a lizard (it was bound to happen when the clock struck midnight) and the azman's drug supply has run dry and thus he had decided to become a librarian. my room is a mess, my life is a mess, and generally things are back to normal. ooh plus it is sandal season! just a word of advice, if you ever have to fill out a sf86 form, never lose it.)

3.17.2005 at 1:25:00 PM

puzzling



woo hoo! spring break is almost upon us. i finished my arabic final, which proved to be quite impossible. the prof thought it would be fun to use verbs in the 8th form in passive imperfect subjunctive forms. so much to talk about (bolton as the new un ambassador, wolfowitz as the head of the world bank, the acquittal of robert blake, the 3 billion dollar hotel in abu dhabi), but alas i am not going to. my symposium is keeping me crazy (you can check it out!) and i am going to go party. i got a job (in foreign policy!) and it pays well! this is such a relief. other than that, i am going to enjoy spring break. but to not leave you completely hanging, here is a fun puzzle to complete. i shamelessly stole this idea from someone else's blog. enjoy!




3.13.2005 at 12:42:00 PM

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

T.S. Eliot (1917)

S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.


LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats 5
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question …
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
. . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”
. . . . .
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

montefeltro

(the mpre is over! i read dante's divine comedy in an italian class in college. eliot takes his epigraph from the inferno. Count Guido da Montefeltro, embodied in a flame, replies to Dante's question about his identity as one condemned for giving lying advice: "If I believed that my answer would be to someone who would ever return to earth, this flame would move no more, but because no one has ever returned alive from this gulf, if what I hear is true, I can reply with no fear of infamy." maybe instead of the aba model rules, we should be studying dante?)

3.04.2005 at 4:38:00 PM

kudos and cringes

kudos: to martha stewart for taking her prison time head on and not whining about it all over the press. sure she was in a federal minimum security place, but she was still incarcerated, it was no time off in the hamptons! her stock survived (and has been rising steadily) and her recipe for orange-chocolate lace cookies is still the best!

cringe: as if the story wasn't bad enough. mukhtar mai, the woman in pakistan who had been sentenced to gang rape by her tribal council, raised her voice and took the issue to court. well the rapists had their sentence overturned, with 5 of the 6 set free! the story just gets worse, with the molesting of her brother. her story is detailed on her website. interestingly a local imam stood up against the tribal council and used his pulpit to call for the authorities to take action. in the end mukhtar mai, along with supportive others, brought the case to court. it took a strong woman to bring such a case, and she used her monetary award to start a school in the village. now with the rapists freed she faces not only personal danger and but in one act the courts have announced to pakistani women that their rape is justified.

kudos/cringe: maria full of grace is a good movie, kudos. it explores the lives of columbian drug mules and the dangers they face. the cringe-worthy part is the number it will do on your digestive track. just thinking about it makes me gag.

cringe: my education symposium is killing me. why are speakers so finicky? why can no one give me a straight answer? who said third year was easy? i have no clue what is going on in my classes, as i am usually working on the symposium while sitting in class. why did i pick education as a topic? i don't care about education anymore! i just need to get past april 4.

kudos: damien rice, closer doesn't really have a soundtrack, but the one song at the end of the movie by rice: blower's daughter, is amazing. heart-wrenching actually.

cringe: i have to take the mpre next weekend. i just sat through a wonderful 5 hour review course. i can't imagine a better way to spend a sunny sunday afternoon. at least they tried to ply us with junk food. the best is the emphatically ridiculous examples: like if a juror is about to get hit by a bus and the lawyer on the case yells "get out of the way", disbar him right away- no de minimis contact with jurors. oh ethics.

kudos: thanks to lala i have been listening to sodastream and enjoying them greatly. those aussies are very cool.

cringing kudos?: so the brits at least are being honest that muslims will face far more scrutiny in terms of security. yes there is all that stuff about racial profiling, but if they are going to do it anyway, at least someone had the guts to be straight about it. and what did you think, that you could look like me and breeze through security? oh the joys of "random" searches.

kudos: i went to the sheetal boutique in bombay and now i saw their website. wow, their clothes are very unique and cool. very bombay in feel. ok a bit too pricey and midriff revealing for me, but fun to look at nonetheless!

cringe: my car is acting up and is at the mechanics. no transport, well at least there is the #2 bus. maybe this is a good thing, i am sure the walking is good for me.

kudos: to mafia and texas hold'em and hours of wasting time hanging out. yes it was lots of fun, with little sleep, and lots of laughs. alas my room is still a mess and my homework is giving me disappointed glares. aah another weekend in c-bus.


ethically yours (well at least as much as the aba requires).

3.01.2005 at 2:13:00 PM

i hate february

what self-respecting month has less than thirty days? march is here already? i want february back! give me my two days!

i spent the weekend in chicago and now march has come and surprised me. i have so much work to do and so little time to do it. rather i have so little will to finish it, i would rather sit on the couch and watch jeopardy. plus the snow outside makes me want to stay put in front of my fireplace.

road tripping is great. i had fun with azthebaz and lala.
chicago was lots of fun. i met up with lots of people, played poker, went shopping, had a few interviews, went to a couple random parties, and generally chilled. i am taking the mpre soon and i attempted to study during the trip. it was largely a failure. some things i learned on the trip:
1. do not eat huevos rancheros early in the morning (really this one is important)
2. all muslims are connected in a ridiculous way and on devon you will always run into people you know
3. gambling is very addictive, if i actually did it i am sure i would lose my life savings on texas hold'em
4. desi children can not pronounce the groceries which they are sent to purchase on devon
5. some people care a lot about instrumentation of music and they can talk about it for a long time
6. leather shoes need lots of moisturizer
7. everyone looks better in dim lighting
8. wearing hijab is a acquired skill and i could get rich by selling instructional videos (okay maybe not rich, but it would be funny)
9. damn, a suit and heels makes one want to earn real money (or at least boss others around)
10. saidian is now a word (from edward said).

*other than that school is killing me. i am wasting time watching movies. i saw my beautiful laundrette (again), the village, napoleon dynamite (again), swades, and moulin rouge (again), and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

a friend had her second baby. a bunch of us visited her in the hospital and as we walked out, i think we could all hear that stupid biological clock ticking loudly. we immediately squashed that, though her baby was so adorable.

johnson v. california was finally decided last week and the supreme court held that even in the prison context, strict scrutiny was the appropriate standard for racial segregation. again oconnor was the author for the majority opinion, is this another sign of an impending cj-ship. my particular interest in 14th amendment jurisprudence makes this case especially interesting.

federated just bought out may company. i am sure no one cares but azthebaz and i. interesting for the department store mkt. as trends go, i am sure the sec will approve this one. this continues in the downward spiral of department stores. the large behemoth department stores no longer anchor malls and people have been steadily moving their business to small specialty stores or larger discount retailers like target. so malls with only one or two department store anchors are becoming the new norm. federated is putting its macy's brand on all its stores, like bon-macy's in seattle or our very own lazarus becoming just macy's.

yesterday a car bomb killed over 100 people outside a clinic in hilla, iraq. more and more people are dying. today a marine and fellow law student who spent most of the last two years in iraq spoke with some of us about his experiences. it was very interesting to hear his perspective and his frustrations. his most intense sentiments were about how life in the us is going on like normal. we, as americans, don't realize that the country is at war. we go on with our normal lives, watch american idol, go shopping, etc. he wished that the war was reality in our minds.

one last thought: sour gummy jolly ranchers will give you a tummy ache. here is a nice pic i took on the road.

2.23.2005 at 10:44:00 AM

what the hell is a cinnamon peeler?

okay, okay enough of you keep asking. what is up with the title? who is the cinnamon peeler's wife? aren't you single and destined to be a spinster?! oh i get it: there is no such thing as a cinnamon peeler and thus you are no one's wife? nice try guys, very funny. but the question remains...



well the title comes from ondaatje's book of poetry and the poem of the same name. his poem evokes the sultry scent that would come from a cinnamon peeler and in turn his love. the images of the poem are amazing and thus prompted me to start a blog. in reality there have existed cinnamon peelers for centuries. the print above shows the cinnamon peelers harvesting the branches. like tea plantation workers and others in sri lanka, they lived in small communities during colonial times, spending their time harvesting the lucrative cinnamon crop for the portuguese, the dutch, the brits, and later the landed elites. there is a long history of cinnamon peelers rising up and leading revolts against their colonizers, famously against the dutch in the 1700s. sri lanka was long famed as the home of the world's best cinnamon, and it was this that initially lured the different travelers, merchants, and colonizers. when the portuguese arrived in 1536 they found a huge cinnamon forest on the west coast and made a bundle from harvesting and selling the spice. those hurt the most by the arrival of the europeans were the salagama, the traditional cinnamon peeling caste. as the demand for cinnamon grew, their living conditions and the demands made upon them worsened. during the british rule, the rates of mortality among the salagama soared. it became common practice for cinnamon peelers to register their children under names from other castes so that they could escape the life of cinnamon peeling.



Cinnamomum zeylanicum, the botanical name for cinnamon comes from the former name of sri lanka: ceylon. sri lanka remains the world's foremost producer of cinnamon, in terms of quantity and quality. from the cinnamon tree, the coarse outer bark can be ground into a powder that is dark brown, has a cinnamon aroma, but a flat, harsh taste. this powder is used in meat dishes and in other coarser dishes. what you know as cinnamon actually comes from the inner bark of the plant. this inner bark is carefully peeled from cut branches and rolled by cinnamon peelers into long quills that resemble giant cigars. the quills are cut into the familiar shorter cinnamon sticks. cinnamon peeling is a highly skilled technique that is still carried out by the salagama, who are quite separate from the cinnamon growers. the processes used are still highly traditional and non-mechanized. you can read more about the actual process at the spice of life; also you can buy best quality cinnamon straight from sri lanka through devi trading. be warned: much of what is passed off as cinnamon in the states is actually cassia, a much coarser plant from burma, which does not have the same delicate taste and aroma of true cinnamon.



the best cinnamon concoction i had in sri lanka was cinnamon and jaggery ice cream, yum! alas i never did meet a cinnamon peeler.

2.21.2005 at 12:44:00 PM

she would buy the flowers herself: creativity or psychoses



this is not really what i wanted to post about. but somehow it seems relevant. i remember standing on fountain's square with my dad one winter morning many years ago and somehow we were discussing the correlation between genius and psychoses. well maybe not actually psychoses, but definitely an inherent tendency towards reclusivity/moodiness/eccentricity (euphemisms for some sort of psychosis?). it sparked my interest, is there some sort of geometric relationship between the level of creative genius and psychoses. when i was in research, i did read some papers that found a positive correlation. i think i still have some of them. almost all that argued for a strong correlation were careful to exclude direct causation, i.e. there is no proof that one causes the other. or is it just that when the person is a genius, we tend to notice their acute social psychoses in greater detail? what if it is rather the scrutiny that a creative genius faces that leads to the withdrawal from the world? maybe it's just mind-altering drugs...

anyway a pioneer in gonzo journalism passed on sunday: dr. hunter s. thompson. he is renown for his strange ways, his drug use, and his biting commentary. he took his life in his home with a gun from his small armory, surrounded by his prized peacocks. read his the rum diary, fear and loathing in lv, fear and loathing on the campaign trail, the great shark hunt, hell's angels, and more. was it the creative genius, the drugs, or just life? and a fitting quote by thompson: "The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over".

last week i watched the hours. i know it is old, but my roommate just happened to rent it. the movie has 3 women dealing with suicide in different ways. i had read mrs. dalloway in college (in a modern british lit class) and had enjoyed woolf, as well as waugh and d.h. lawrence. i have never read the hours, which inspired the movie, but i really liked the splicing of three stories. woolf, was herself a creative genius who was haunted by her own demons. she heard voices and was often anxious to the point of sickness. her own demons forced her to move away from bloomsbury (where one could argue existed a modernist literary and artistic cooperative like no other of its time). after several attempts throughout her life and several diagnoses from her doctors, woolf took her life in the river ouse, near sussex, in 1941. she is quoted in her note to her husband as writing: "I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been". the movie made me want to go back to mrs. dalloway. i was at my parents' house this weekend and found the book in the stacks of my college books in the basement. re-reading part of the book made me like the movie even more. mrs. dalloway goes through her day with the confidence that leads all to believe that she is stable and mentally sound, all the while hiding her own insecurities and inner turmoil. yet in the end it is the poet septimus that commits suicide, leaving mrs. dalloway at her party.

from woolf's waves (her husband chose these words for her memorial plaque): "Death is the enemy. Against you I will fling myself, unvanquished and unyielding, O Death!" The waves broke on the shore."

i have no thesis here, just rambling. random things connecting in my head.

(p.s. for those who skipped my babbling- frosted animal cookies are grrrrrreat.)