we who are
your closest friends
feel the time
has come to tell you
that every Thursday
we have been meeting,
as a group,
to devise ways
to keep you
in perpetual uncertainty
frustration
discontent and
torture
by neither loving you
as much as you want
nor cutting you adrift.
Your analyst is
in on it,
plus your boyfriend
and your ex-husband;
and we have pledged
to disappoint you
as long as you need us.
In announcing our
association
we realize we have
placed in your hands
a possible antidote
against uncertainty
indeed against ourselves.
But since our Thursday nights
have brought us
to a community
of purpose
rare in itself
with you as
the natural center,
we feel hopeful you
will continue to make unreasonable
demands for affection
if not as a consequence
of your disastrous personality
then for the good of the collective.
(sidenotes: one more final exam till freedom!/ i am going to chicago this weekend, graduating next weekend, then off to dc/ i have been having an impossible time falling asleep- i keep tossing and turning, thinking about every little detail/problem in the world, and noticing every slight sound/ whoever invented smoke detectors that beep when the battery is low should be shot. we have 7 smoke detectors in a 8 foot radius (yeah great design) and one of the ones in the hallway has been beeping infernally for the last week or so. with finals, no one has had time to go buy a 9 volt battery to replace it (plus we are all too short to reach it), finally in a fit of rage at 3 am (i hadn't slept in 30 odd hours) i got up, teetered on a chair and yanked the damned thing from the ceiling. and it kept beeping. i removed the battery and it kept beeping. what is in these things? i finally hid it in the linen closet behind some towels and boxes. it kept beeping but at least i couldn't hear it in my room. but then as i am trying to fall asleep, i realize that from hearing it for so long, i now have the beeping in my head! doh! (as homer would say)).
woke up again today, realized i hate myself, my face is a disease.
(about how i am feeling and the words of a great song (a happy medium) by malcolm middleton, of arab strap fame)
